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():other funny jokes (4827): Things To Do to kill time


Posted by Jeanna M. Garloch on 14-Aug-2005

Things To Do to kill time

Find a cure for AID's, tell no one.

Build a giant eraser by scraping pencil erasers into a shoe box.

count all of the hairs on your body.

calcutate the amount of inches from where you are to the moon,
once finished, do the same for every planet in the solar system.

construct the statue of liberty, with toothpicks.

dig a hole that you can bury a car in, using a spoon.

try gaining weight, by eating celery

Do you whole classes math homework

watch every movie ever made, in one sitting.

learn every foriegn language

ask your grandparents about their life. (try to act interested)

   

27 people have rated this joke:
3.48/10
     

():other funny jokes (4827): Murphy's Laws /


Posted by Dan Berkowitz on 09-Aug-2005

Murphy's Laws /

Murphys 1st Law: If anything can go wrong, it will Murphys 2nd Law: Nothing is as easy as it looks Murphys 3rd Law: Everything takes longer than you think Murphys 4th Law: If theres a possibility of several things going wrong, the one that will cause the most damage will. Murphys 5th Law: Whenever you set out to do something, something else must be done first Murphys 6th Law: Every solution breeds a new problem Murphys 7th Law: Its immposible to make something foolproof as fools are so ingenious. Murphys 8th Law: Nature always sides with the hidden flaw. Murphys 9th Law: Left to themselves things tend to go from bad to worse Murphys 10th Law: When things just cant get any worse, they will

O'Toole's Law: Murphy was an opptomist.

Forsythes Corollary to Murphys Law: Just when you see the light at the end of the tunnel, the roof caves in.

The Unspeakable Law: As soon as you mention something if its good it will go away, if it is bad it wil happen

Non-Reciprocal Law of Expectations: Negative expectations yield negative results, positive expectations yield negative results

Etorres Observation: The other queue always moves faster

Barths Distinction: There are two types of people. Those who divide people into 2 types of people, and those who dont.

Segals Law: A man with 1 watch always knows what time it is, a man with 2 is never sure

Fabers 4th Law: Nessesity is the mother of strange bedfellows

Simons Law: Everything put together sooner or later falls apart

Scotts 1st Law: No matter what goes wrong, it will probably look right Scotts 2nd Law: When an error has been detected and corrected it will be found to have been correct in the first place

Finagles Law: Once a job has been fowled up, almost everything done to improve it only makes it worse.

Buggings Law: A man that can smile when things go wrong has thought of someone he can blame it on

Gumpersons Law: The probability of anything happening is the inverse of its desirability

Stockmayers Law: If it looks easy it is tough, if it looks tough it is immposible

Hofstadters Law: It always takes longer than you expect, even when you take Hofstadters law into account

Any horse which has won all of its races will lose as soon as you bet on it

Agnes Allens Law: Almost anything is easier to get into than out of.

Andersons Law: I have yet to see any problems however complicated which, when you looked at it the right way didnt become more complicated

Borens guidlines for bureacracy: When in charge, ponder; when in trouble, delegate; when in doubt, mumble

Corcorans Law: All papers that you keep will never be needed until you dispose of them, when they become essential

Jonses Law: Friends may come and go, but enemies accumulate

Johnsons Law of Car Repair: Any tool dropped while repairing a car will role under the vehicle to the exact geographical center

Wolfs Law: Those who dont study the past will repeat its errors, those who do study it will find new ones.

Also contrary to other thoughts Coles Law is not a life law at all, it is slices cabbage.
   

5 people have rated this joke:
3.40/10
     

():other funny jokes (4827): Height of Laziness


Posted by Boo on 10-Aug-2005

Height of Laziness

What is the height of laziness?

Adoption.
   

3 people have rated this joke:
3.33/10
     

():other funny jokes (4827): Black people


Posted by J Man on 12-Aug-2005

Black people

Q.What do you call a swimming pool filled with black people?

A.Coco-Pops.
   

12 people have rated this joke:
3.33/10
     

():other funny jokes (4827): Stiff Neck?


Posted by Holly Burkett on 14-Aug-2005
Stiff Neck?
A man was walking down the street when he noticed his grandpa sitting on the porch, in the rocking chair, with nothing on from the waist down.

"Grandpa, what are you doing?" he exclaimed.

The old man looked off in the distance and did not answer him.

"Grandpa, what are you doing sitting out here with nothing on below the waist?" he asked again.

The old man slyly looked at him and said, "Well, last week I sat out here with no shirt on, and I got a stiff neck. This was your Grandma's idea!"
   

3 people have rated this joke:
3.33/10
     

():other funny jokes (4827): doctor


Posted by cory a. HOGAN on 14-Aug-2005
doctor
A doctor was delivering a baby and when the baby comes out he
drops it on the ground. The mother says what in the hell are you
doing? He then picks up the baby and throws it againts the wall.
He runs acrost the room and picks it up and drop kicks it. Then
finally he picks it up by the legs and spikes it on its head.
The whole time the mother is going ape shit saying what the hell
are you doing to my baby boy? Oh, the doctor says, dont worry it
was already dead.

   

4 people have rated this joke:
3.25/10
     

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