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| Posted by Nick G. Davis on 14-Aug-2005 | Three Dogs at the VetThree dogs were sitting in the waiting room at the veterinarian's. One of
the dogs was hanging its head and sighing. The second dog turned to him
and asked "What are you in here for, buddy?" The dog looked depressed,
"I'm in big trouble", he said, "My owner has a really nice sports car with
leather seats. I just love to go for rides in it. Well, the other day, he
took me for a ride and I was so excited, I pee'd on the nice leather seat.
Now he's having me put to sleep."
"I know how you feel", said the second dog. "My owners have a beautiful,
expensive oriental rug. The other day they were late getting home from
work and I just couldn't help myself...I shit all over their nice carpet
and ruined it. They're having me put to sleep, too."
Both dogs turned to the third dog in the waiting room. "So what are you
here for?" they asked. "Well," said the third dog, "my owner likes to do
her housework in the nude. The other day, she was vacuuming and she knelt
down to vacuum under the sofa, and I just couldn't help myself. I hopped
on her back and had the ride of my life!"
The other dogs nodded in sympathy, "So she's having you put to sleep, too,
huh?" "No," said the dog, "I'm having my nails clipped."
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9 people have rated this joke: |
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| Posted by Cow Man on 14-Aug-2005 | the dum fishonce there was a fish and it had no tail and mommy and it died
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145 people have rated this joke: |
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| Posted by Lazerwolf91 on 10-Aug-2005 | Beer Nuts vs. Deer NutsHow can you tell the difference between Beer Nuts and Deer Nuts?
The Beer Nuts are about a dollar fifty and the Deer Nuts are under a Buck
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7 people have rated this joke: |
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| Posted by SexyChic04 on 14-Aug-2005 | Seeing Eye DogsThere's a guy with a Doberman Pinscher and a guy with a
Chihuahua. The guy with the Doberman Pinscher says to the guy
with a Chihuahua, "Let's go over to that restaurant and get
something to eat." The guy with the Chihuahua says, "We can't go
in there. We've got dogs with us." The guy with the Doberman
Pinscher says, "Just follow my lead."
They walk over to the restaurant, the guy with the Doberman
Pinscher puts on a pair of dark glasses, and he starts to walk
in. A guy at the door says, "Sorry, mac, no pets allowed." The
guy with the Doberman Pinscher says, "You don't understand. This
is my seeing-eye dog." The guy at the door says, "A Doberman
Pinscher?" He says, "Yes, they're using them now, they're very
good." The guy at the door says, "Come on in."
The guy with the Chihuahua figures, "What the heck," so he puts
on a pair of dark glasses and starts to walk in. The guy at the
door says, "Sorry, pal, no pets allowed." The guy with the
Chihuahua says, "You don't understand. This is my seeing-eye
dog." The guy at the door says, "A Chihuahua?" The guy with the
Chihuahua says, "You mean they gave me a Chihuahua?"
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| Posted by Chelsea Wilson on 12-Aug-2005 | What do you call a gay dinosaur?What do you call a gay dinosaur?
A megasorass.
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7 people have rated this joke: |
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():animal jokes (1719): A penguin was driving through the desert when... |
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