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():other funny jokes (4827): Three Little Pigs


Posted by Brian M. Lowsley on 09-Aug-2005

Three Little Pigs

Once upon a time, there were 3 little pigs. The straw pig, the stick pig, and the brick pig. One day this nasty old wolf came up to the straw pig's house and said, "I'm gonna huff and puff, and blow your house down."





And he did!

The straw pig went running over to the stick pig's house and said "Let me in, please, the wolf just blew down my house!"

The stick pig let the straw pig in. Then the wolf showed up and said, "I'm gonna huff and puff, and blow your house down!"

And he did!

So, the straw pig and the stick pig went running over to the brick pig's house and said "Let us in! "The wolf just blew down our houses and we're scared!"

So the brick pig let them in. The wolf caught up with them and said "I'm gonna huff and puff, and blow your house down."





While he was huffing and puffing, the straw pig and the stick pig were so scared! But the brick pig picked up the phone and made a call. A few minutes passed and all of a sudden this big, black stretch limousine drove up. Out came two massive pigs in pinstriped suits and fedoras.

They went over to the wolf and grabbed him by the neck and proceeded to beat the shit out of him. Then they got back into their limo and drove off, leaving the wolf bleeding on the street.

The straw pig and the stick pig were amazed! They asked the brick pig, "Who the hell were those guys?"





And the brick pig said, "Oh, those are my cousins, the Guinea Pigs."




   

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():other funny jokes (4827): Sex and Athletics


Posted by cooter on 09-Aug-2005

Sex and Athletics

It has been determined that having sex before participating in athletic activity, such as a marathon race, does not impair the athlete's performance.

In fact, men have known and displayed this for centuries.

After sex, they glance at their watches and say, "Oops, gotta run!"
   

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():other funny jokes (4827): Wife's Birthday


Posted by EMMI E. COOL on 09-Aug-2005

Wife's Birthday

The wife had a birthday and her husband wanted to know what she desired.

She always fancied having a sports car, so she said she'd like to have a jaguar. He didn't think it was best for her. But, she prevailed and begged until he gave in and got her one.

It ate her.
   

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():other funny jokes (4827): Cark Wreck


Posted by Louis Turner on 09-Aug-2005

Cark Wreck

A man was driving to work when a truck ran a stop sign, hit his car broadside, and knocked him cold. Passersby pulled him from the wreck and revived him. He began a terrific struggle and had to be tranquilized by the medics.

Later, when he was calm, they asked him why he struggled so. He said, "I remember the impact, then nothing. I woke up on a concrete slab in front of a huge, flashing 'Shell' sign. And somebody was standing in front of the 'S.'"
   

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():other funny jokes (4827): Good News / Bad News


Posted by Laurus S. Sutton on 09-Aug-2005
Good News / Bad News
The doctor looked benignly at the woman who had come to him for an examination.

"Mrs. Brown," he said, "I have some good news for you."



The woman said, "I'm glad of that doctor, but I'm not Mrs Brown, I am Miss Brown," "Miss Brown," said the doctor without changing expression, "I have bad news for you."




   

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():other funny jokes (4827): Customer is wrong


Posted by Sarah M. Henderson on 09-Aug-2005
Customer is wrong
A salesman, tired of his job, gave it up to become a policeman.

Several months later, a friend who used to work with him asked him how he liked his new role.

"Well," he replied, "the pay is good and the hours aren't bad, but what I like best is that the customer is always wrong."




   

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