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():nerd jokes (650): Calculating statistics of injury |
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| Posted by Eastieboy on 13-Aug-2005 | Calculating statistics of injuryA man (If you like, a blond) who often travels by plane calculates the probability of there being a bomb on any given flight. It's low, but not low enough, so the man always carries a bomb in his suitcase knowing that he'll be safe.
After all, the odds of two bombs on a flight are almost impossible!
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BONUS JOKE VARIATION!!!
A man went to a hunting shop and asked if he could buy one bullet. The clerk thought for a second and said, sure, why not. The man gets his bullet and takes out a pen and meticulously inscribes his name on the bullet.
The clerk, watching this says, "hey buddy, why'd you write on your bullet?"
"Well, they say there's a bullet out there with my name on it, so I figured I'd better keep track of it!"
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| Posted by cathy b on 13-Aug-2005 | Dumb bank robberThis is a true story out of San Francisco, but, of course you're reading it on the Internet so we know how valid THAT statment is...
A man, wanting to rob a downtown Bank of America, walked into the branch and wrote "this iz a stikkup. Put all your muny in this bag." While standing in line, waiting to give his note to the teller, he began to worry that someone had seen him write the note and might call the police before he reached the teller window.
So he left the Bank of America and crossed the street to Wells Fargo. After waiting a few minutes in line, he handed his note to the Wells Fargo teller. She read it and, surmising from his spelling errors that he wasn't the brightest light in the harbor, told him that she could not accept his stickup note because it was written on a Bank of America deposit slip and that he would either have to fill out a Wells Fargo deposit slip or go back to Bank of America.
Looking somewhat defeated, the man said "OK" and left. The Wells Fargo teller then called the police who arrested the man a few minutes later, as he was waiting in line back at Bank of America.
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