Funny quotes

Funny quotes - Funny quotes

funny quotes

animal jokes

bar jokes

holiday jokes

travel & vacation jokes

sport jokes

other funny jokes

signs of our times

nerd jokes

just do it

funny laws

funny definitions

blind jokes

funny bumper stickers

crazy jokes

food jokes

funny ads

little johnny

school humor

top list jokes

funny thoughts


· jokes and quotes
· Add joke
· New jokes
· Last 5 jokes
· Best jokes
· Search jokes
  Service menu

· Freedback
· Recommend Us
· Subscription

  Our friends

There isn't content right now for this block.

():bar jokes (2610): Timbuck Two

Posted by Kayla Phillips on 09-Aug-2005

Timbuck Two

A black man and a white man are in a bar fighting about who is the smartest.

The fight was carrying on for quite a while when the bartender walked up and said, "I am going to have to ask you gentlemen to leave, but before I do we are going to settle this fight, or else you will just go beat each other up in the parking lot."

He said, "I am going to give you a word and you each have to make a rhyme out of it and whoever's is the best is the smartest, the word is timbuck two."

The white man thought and thought and finally said "I got it."

"Walking in the hot desert sand, I came upon a car-a-van, first came one camel, then came two, destination timbuck two."

The bartender said, "Very good."

The black man thought and thought and said, "OK, me and Timmy went fishing, we came upon three lovelies in a tent, upon the ground still wet with dew I bucked one Tim bucked two."

Submitted by fairytales64
Edited by Calamjo

1 people have rated this joke:

():bar jokes (2610): Susie's Legs

Posted by Chris J. Coyle on 09-Aug-2005

Susie's Legs

One day a cop was walking along in the ghetto. He came upon a guy sitting on the curb and thinking. He went up to the guy.

"What are you doing," the cop asks."

I'm just thinking about starting a bar right over there,but I can't think of a name for the place," the man replied."

If you can come up with a name for me I'll give you a free drink,"the guy said. The cop likes this idea, so the first thing he thinks of he tells the man."

How about Susie," the cop suggests.

"Susie, I like it. Come back tomorrow for you're drink," said the man.

The cop returns to the ghetto the next day. The guy is sitting on the curb again."

What about Susie?"

the cop asked."

The man answered," I thought about it and I decided I didn't like it.I'll give you two drinks if you come up with a better name" The cop thought for a moment and said" Susie's Legs" The man agreed and told the cop to come back tomorrow for his free drinks.

The next day the cop returns, and sure enough the bar is there, but it doesn't open for another 10 minutes. He waits in his car. A young teen asks the cop what he was doing just sitting in his car. the cop replies," I'm waiting for Susie's Legs to open so I can get my free drinks."

2 people have rated this joke:

():bar jokes (2610): Pay the Price

Posted by lu v. buggy on 10-Aug-2005

Pay the Price

A man walks into a bar and says, "Excuse me, I'd like a pint of beer."

The bartender serves the drink and says, "That'll be four dollars."

The customer pulls out a twenty-dollar bill and hands it to the bartender.

"Sorry, sir," the bartender says, "but I can't accept that."

The man pulls out a ten-dollar bill and the bartender rejects his money again.
"What's going on here?" the man asks.

Pointing to a neon sign, the bartender explains, "This is a Singles Bar."

1 people have rated this joke:

():bar jokes (2610): Making a confession

Posted by jennifer on 10-Aug-2005

Making a confession

A drunken man staggered into a Catholic church, sat down in the Confessional,
and said nothing.

The priest is waiting and waiting and waiting.

The priest coughs to attract the drunk man's attention, but still the man says
nothing. The priest then knocks on the wall three times in a final attempt to
get the man to speak. Finally the drunk replies, ''No use knocking,' pal.
There's no paper."

1 people have rated this joke:

():bar jokes (2610): Extra-extra strong mint

Posted by Tim Smith on 10-Aug-2005
Extra-extra strong mint
All of a sudden this huge extra-extra strong mint walks into a pub, he sits
down and starts boasting about how he's the strongest mint and how he could win
any fight, then another mint walks in, the extra-extra strong mint dives under a
table! Someone asks him "I thought you where the strongest mint around???" "I
know!" he replies, "but he's menthol".

1 people have rated this joke:

():bar jokes (2610): This guy walks into a small town bar...

Posted by jack ill on 11-Aug-2005
This guy walks into a small town bar...
This guy walks into a small town bar and orders a drink from the bartender.

The bartender delivers his drink and shouts out to the bar patrons ''46!!'' Everyone starts to laugh- Again he shouts out ''39!!'' Now the patrons are getting even louder in laughing- Lastly, he shouts ''14!!'' Now, people are wiping tears from their eyes from all the laughing.

The visitor is curious, so he asks the bartender ''What is going on?''

The bartender says ''This is a small town, with small impressionable children, and so we had decided to put numbers to our naughty jokes rather than tell them in full''

The visitor is astounded ''Let me try!!'' he says- So he shouts ''46!!'' Nothing happens ''39!!'' Still nothing. ''14!!'' and yet still not a sound from the patrons.

The visitor says to the bartender ''I don't understand. I used exactly the same numbers you did and got a completely opposite response.

The bartender replied, ''Well, some folks can tell a joke....... and some folks can't''

1 people have rated this joke:

Jokes search
Input keyword: