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():school humor (1428): Tips to improve your writing


Posted by Pretzelkin on 09-Aug-2005

Tips to improve your writing

11. Comparisons are as bad as cliches.

12. Don't be redundant; don't use more words than necessary; it's highly superfluous.

13. Be more or less specific.

14. Understatement is always best.

15. One-word sentences? Eliminate.

16. Analogies in writing are like feathers on a snake.

17. The passive voice is to be avoided.

18. Go around the barn at high noon to avoid colloquialisms.

19. Even if a mixed metaphor sings, it should be derailed.

20. Who needs rhetorical questions?
   

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():school humor (1428): I will do anything to pass


Posted by Joanne Massoud on 09-Aug-2005

I will do anything to pass

A student comes to a young professor's office hours. She glances down the hall, closes his door, kneels pleadingly.

"I would do anything to pass this exam." She leans closer to him, flips back her hair, gazes meaningfully into his eyes. "I mean..." she whispers, "...I would do...anything."

He returns her gaze. "Anything?"

"Anything."

His voice softens. "Anything??"

"Absolutely anything."

His voice turns to a whisper. "Would you...study?"
   

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():school humor (1428): Ways to confuse a roommate


Posted by Dejoira T. Phillips on 09-Aug-2005

Ways to confuse a roommate

These are intended for entertainment purposes only. We do not advise that you ever do these things to a roommate or yourself.

16. Carry old orange juice around with you everywhere you go.
   

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():school humor (1428): Ways to confuse a roommate


Posted by Pretzelkin on 09-Aug-2005

Ways to confuse a roommate

These are intended for entertainment purposes only. We do not advise that you ever do these things to a roommate or yourself.

54. Complain of having a terrible virus in your system and cough at your roommate frequently.
   

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():school humor (1428): Ways to confuse a roommate


Posted by faulk t. poo on 09-Aug-2005
Ways to confuse a roommate
These are intended for entertainment purposes only. We do not advise that you ever do these things to a roommate or yourself.

92. "Drink" a raw egg for breakfast every morning. Explain that you are in training. Eat a dozen donuts every night.
   

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():school humor (1428): Ways to confuse a roommate


Posted by julij on 09-Aug-2005
Ways to confuse a roommate
These are intended for entertainment purposes only. We do not advise that you ever do these things to a roommate or yourself.

102. Pile dirty dishes in your roommate's bed. Insist that you don't know how they got there.
   

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