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| Posted by Jaime M. Albright on 09-Aug-2005 | Tom Dick And HarryTom, Dick and Harry, three explorers, were captured by cannibals in the jungles of Borneo.
The cannibal chief says to them, "If you pass the tribal test we will let you live. Go into the jungle and gather 10 items of the same fruit.
"So the three guys scamper into the woods, and Tom comes back first with 10 apples. The Chief explains the trial to him, "You must shove the fruits up your butt without any statement on your face or you will be eaten."
The first apple was okay but Tom winced in pain on the second apple, and was promptly killed and went to heaven (he was a good explorer).
Dick comes back with 10 berries and the chief explains the trial to him as well. Dick doesn't think it should be too tough and begins. 1. 2. 3. 4. 5. 6. 7. 8. But on the ninth berry he burst out in laughter and is killed.
Tom and Dick meet in heaven where Tom asks, "Dick, why did you laugh? You almost got away with it!" Dick replied, "I couldn't help it. I saw Harry coming with an armload of pineapples."
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| Posted by jocelyn price on 09-Aug-2005 | Corrupt PoliticiansA member of the Senate, known for his hot temper and acid tongue, explodes one day in mid-session and begins to shout: "Half of this Senate is made up of cowards and corrupt politicians!" All the other Senators plead to the angry member that he withdraw his statement, or be removed from the remainder of the session. After a long pause, the angry member accepted.
"Ok" he said, "I withdraw what I said. Half of this Senate is NOT made up of cowards and corrupt politicians!"
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| Posted by Rebecca E. Borden on 10-Aug-2005 | FrostyQ: Why did Frosty the snowman pull down his pants?
A: He saw the snow blower coming!
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| Posted by Alison Barnes on 14-Aug-2005 | SuperstitionsTwo robbers were robbing a hotel. The first one said, "I hear sirens. Jump!"
The second one said, "But we're on the 13th floor!"
The first one screamed back, "This is no time to be superstitious."
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| Posted by John Doe on 12-Aug-2005 | Bad BreathYou're breath's so stinky I don't know whether I should give you a breath mint or toilepaper!
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| Posted by Lauren C. Mcguire on 14-Aug-2005 | Shop Keeper!one day, a man wanted to apply for being a shopkeeper in a
grocery store. So he then walked in to the shop and said," umm,
i want to be a shopkeeper." Then the manager said,"u any good?"
there was silence for a moment so then the manager takes the man
and shows him around and sez," O.K., we will start with a simple
question of a fine product of ours , OK?" and the man said OK.
So, the man pretended as a customer and asked," how much for
this pencil?" the man said," i dunno?" the manager got fustrated
and said, no u idiot! you are supposed to say 25cents! ok? he
said," yah". So he repeated the same thing and the manager was
pleased.Then he asked," how good is it?" the stupid man said,"
Beats me!" and so the manager said," no u moron!" it is best u
can get!!!" so the man said ok. he repeated himself again and
said," So should i buy it?" the man said," how am i supposed to
no!" the manager got fustrated and said," u are supposed to say
u better or someone else will!" so he said ok
The manager was satified so the stupid man was hired. A
bad ass punk walked in and said ," how old u kid?" he said
25cents! then the punk said," are u nuts?" the man said," best u
can get!" the punk then said," my GOSH!, want me to punch u in
the balls?" The stupid man replied with his last words as a
man," u better or someone else will!!!"
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