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Too many cheetahs

Q: Why don't they play poker in the jungle?
A: Too many cheetahs.

4 people have rated this joke:

7.25/10


	():animal jokes (1719): King of the Jungle...

Posted by Doggy on 08-Aug-2005

King of the Jungle...

A lion woke up one morning feeling really rowdy and mean. He went out and cornered a small monkey and roared,
"Who is mightiest of all jungle animals?"

The trembling monkey says, "You are, mighty lion!

Later, the lion confronts a ox and fiercely bellows,
"Who is the mightiest of all jungle animals?"

The terrified ox stammers, "Oh great lion, you are the mightiest animal in the jungle!"

On a roll now, the lion swaggers up to an elephant and roars,
"Who is mightiest of all jungle animals?"

Fast as lightning, the elephant snatches up the lion with his trunk, slams him against a tree half a dozen times leaving the lion feeling like it'd been run over by a safari wagon. The elephant then stomps on the lion till it looks like a corn tortilla and ambles away.

The lion lets out a moan of pain, lifts his head weakly and hollers after the elephant -
"Just because you don't know the answer, you don't have to get so upset about it!"

2 people have rated this joke:

7.00/10


	():animal jokes (1719): Q: Where do dogs go when they lose their tails?

Posted by Ana N. Facchin on 09-Aug-2005

Q: Where do dogs go when they lose their tails?

A: To the retail store.

3 people have rated this joke:

7.00/10


	():animal jokes (1719): A penguin was driving through the desert when...

Posted by marcie j. gomez on 09-Aug-2005

A penguin was driving through the desert when...

A penguin was driving through the desert when his car broke down. He waddled to the nearest phone to call AAA. His car was quickly towed to the nearest garage where the mechanic told him he would need a couple of hours to check out the car.

The penguin, being a good natured bird, didn't complain but wandered off to find the closest supermarket. He proceeded to the frozen foods section and hung out near the fish sticks.

After an hour he got in the freezer next to the vanilla ice cream and ate several gallons. Then he saw the time and went back to the garage covered in ice cream.

The mechanic walked over to him wiping his hands and shaking his head saying, "It looks like you blew a seal."

Blushing, the penguin said, "Oh no! It's just ice cream."

5 people have rated this joke:

7.00/10


	():animal jokes (1719): Catnip

Posted by ginageeluv on 10-Aug-2005

Catnip

Q: What do you call it when a cat bites?
A: Catnip!

1 people have rated this joke:

7.00/10


	():animal jokes (1719): The burglar and the parrot

Posted by Madi Stuart on 12-Aug-2005

The burglar and the parrot

A burglar broke into a house one night. He shined his flashlight
around, looking for valuables, and when he picked up a CD player to
place in his sack, a strange, disembodied voice echoed from the dark
saying, "Jesus is watching you."

He nearly jumped out of his skin, clicked his flashlight out, and
froze. When he heard nothing more after a bit, he shook his head,
promised himself a vacation after the next big score, then clicked
the light back on and began searching for more valuables.? Just as
he pulled the stereo out so he could disconnect the wires, clear as
a bell he heard, "Jesus is watching you."

Freaked out, he shined his light around frantically, looking for the
source of the voice. Finally, in the corner of the room, his
flashlight beam came to rest on a parrot.? "Did you say that?" He
hissed at the parrot.

"Yep," the parrot confessed, then squawked, "I'm just trying to warn
you."

The burglar relaxed. "Warn me, huh? Who in the world are you?"

"Moses," replied the bird.?

"Moses?" the burglar laughed. "What kind of stupid people would name
a parrot Moses?"

The bird promptly answered, "Probably the same kind of people that
would name a Rotweiller "Jesus"!

3 people have rated this joke:

7.00/10