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():holiday jokes (333): Top 16 signs you hired a bad firewokrs expert |
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| Posted by Fantastique Lindsay on 13-Aug-2005 | Inappropriate CostumeANN ARBOR, Michigan - Christian Silbereis, 17, wanted his Halloween costume to be educational. So he came to school dressed at a giant vagina. The costume was created by his mother, to wear at his school's Halloween fancy dress contest. School officials did not feel the pink cape decorated with wig hair, satin and lace was appropriate, however, and they suspended the student for the remainder of the week. Silbereis's mother warned him that the costume might make some people uncomfortable, but he still won first prize in the contest.
Silbereis defended his choice saying, "It's anatomically correct. It's just another body part - they teach us about it in school. I mean, what if I was wearing an elbow costume? That's part of the body. Would they suspend me then?" A petition is being passed around to students objecting his suspension. High School officials refuse to comment on the reason for the suspension.
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| Posted by BRADY COLLINS on 13-Aug-2005 | The Top 12 Hot Toys This Holiday Season
12> Seattle Protest Barbie -- Complete with painted sign, handcuffs, and double-tall latte! (Anarchist Ken sold separately)
11> The Al Gore Doll -- So real, it's almost life-like!
10> Toy Story 2 adult action figures -- Buzzed Lightyear and Morning Woody
9> H2-Oh! -- Pop it in the freezer and it magically becomes a cold, frosty treat!
8> Celery Monster -- Cookie Monster's anorexic sister
7> Day Trader Barbie -- comes with notebook computer, cell phone, 9mm handgun and emergency cyanide pill
6> My First Nipple Ring -- Be the first on your block to be banned by your friends' Moms!
5> Lower G.I. Joe -- Teaches your youngster the joy of colonic irrigation
4> PokeYerMom Oedipal Trading Cards
3> Playskool Oval Office -- If the house is a rockin', don't come a knockin' (until it's your turn!).
2> Crips 'n' Bloods Operation -- "Use the forceps to remove the cap from your ass! But don't set off the buzzer!"
1> Potty Training Taco Bell Chihuahua -- Teaches Junior where to "Drop the Chalupa"
[ The Top 5 List www.topfive.com ]
[ Copyright 1999 by Chris White ]
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| Posted by Chez Bez on 13-Aug-2005 | Christmas Quickies
What did Adam say on the day before Christmas ?
It's Christmas, Eve !
How do you make an idiot laugh on boxing day ?
Tell him a joke on Christmas Eve !
What do you have in December that you don't have in any other month ?
The letter "D" !
What does Father Christmas suffer from if he gets stuck in a chimney ?
Santa Claustrophobia !
What disasters could happen if you dropped the Christmas turkey ?
The downfall of Turkey, the breakup of China and the otherthrow of Greece !
Who delivers presents to baby sharks at Christmas ?
Santa Jaws !
How do you know when there is a snowman in your bed ?
You wake up wet !
What do you call a penguin in the Sahara desert ?
Lost !
Whats ice ?
Skid Stuff!
Where do snowmen go to dance ?
Snowballs !
How do snowmen travel around ?
By iceicle !
What sort of ball doesn't bounce ?
A snowball !
What did the guest sing at the Eskimo's Christmas party ?
Freeze a jolly fellow !
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