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():sport jokes (950): Top Ten Reasons Hockey is Better than Sex |
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| Posted by Domini V. Cunningham on 14-Aug-2005 | Top Ten Reasons Hockey is Better than Sex10. It's legal to play hockey professionally.
9. The puck is always hard.
8. Protective equipment is reusable and you don't even have to wash it.
7. It lasts a full hour.
6. You know you're finished when the buzzer sounds.
5. Your parents cheer when you score.
4. Periods only last 20 minutes.
3. You can count on it at least twice a week.
2. You can tell your friends about it afterwards.
1. A two-on-one or three-on-one is not uncommon.
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| Posted by Penguin66 on 14-Aug-2005 | Posted at a local golf club:1. Back straight, knees bent, feet shoulder width apart.
2. Form a loose grip.
3. Keep your head down.
4. Avoid a quick back swing.
5. Stay out of the water.
6. Try not to hit anyone.
7. If you are taking too long, please let others go ahead of you.
8. Don't stand directly in front of others.
9. Quiet please... while others are preparing to go.
10. Don't take extra strokes.
Very good. Now flush the urinal, go outside, and tee off.
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| Posted by Bill C. Schroeder on 14-Aug-2005 | Learn How to Play GolfA woman playing golf was stung by a bee. Afraid she'd have an allergic reaction, she ran back to the clubhouse to find the pro.
Finding him, she says breathlessly, "I've been stung by a bee! What shall I do?"
"Where were you stung?" the pro asks.
"Between the first and second hole!"
"Lady, we gotta work on your stance."
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():sport jokes (950): Top 10 Things That Sound Dirty In Golf But Aren't |
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| Posted by Wreckd on 14-Aug-2005 | Top 10 Things That Sound Dirty In Golf But Aren't10. Nuts...my shaft is bent.
9. After 18 holes I can barely walk.
8. You really whacked the hell out of that sucker.
7. Look at the size of his putter!
6. Keep your head down and spread your legs a bit more.
5. Mind if I join your threesome?
4. Stand with your back turned and drop it.
3. My hands are so sweaty I can't get a good grip.
2. Nice stroke, but your follow through leaves a lot to be desired.
1. Hold on...I need to wash my balls first.
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| Posted by Akdadevil Bavarian Butchers on 13-Aug-2005 | GolfingThere was this guy who went golfing every Saturday and Sunday. It didn't matter what kind of weather it was, he was hooked on a round of golf on his days off.
One Saturday he left the house early and headed for the golf course, but it was so bitter cold that he decided he wouldn't golf that day and went back home.
His wife was still in bed when he got there, so he took off his clothes and snuggled up to his wife's backside and said, "Terrible weather out there."
She replied, "Yeah, and can you believe my stupid husband went golfing."
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| Posted by jokemeister on 13-Aug-2005 | Scratch GolferTwo women were paired together as partners in a club tournament and met on the putting green for the first time.
After introductions, the first golfer asked, "What's your handicap?"
"Oh, I'm a scratch golfer," the other replied.
"Really!" exclaimed the first woman, suitably impressed that she was paired up with her.
"Yes, I write down all my good scores and scratch out the bad ones!
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