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():holiday jokes (333): Top Ten Signs You're Too Old To Be Trick Or Treati |
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| Posted by dan mcclenaghan on 14-Aug-2005 | Top Ten Signs You're Too Old To Be Trick Or Treati10. You get winded from knocking on the door.
9. You have to have another kid chew the candy for you.
8. You ask for high fiber candy only.
7. When someone drops a candy bar in your bag, you lose your
balance and fall over.
6. People say, "Great Keith Richards mask!" and you're not
wearing a mask.
5. When the door opens you yell, "Trick or..." and can't
remember the rest.
4. By the end of the night, you have a bag full of restraining
orders.
3. You have to carefully choose a costume that won't dislodge
your hairpiece.
2. You're the only Power Ranger in the neighborhood with a
walker.
1. You avoid going to houses where your ex-spouses live
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| Posted by Chuckler on 14-Aug-2005 | Two old menOne day two old men decided to go to London. That meant that they will
have to take a bus to the nearest town and catch a train there,they never
went on a train before. To eat on the journey they brought bananas, they
haven't eaten bananas before, either. On the train one of them decided to
eat his banana just as the train entered a tunnel.
"Did you eat your banana yet?" asked the man who ate his banana.
"No" replied his partner.
"Well don't, I just ate mine and went blind for a few minutes"
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| Posted by Bill D. Williams on 14-Aug-2005 | SantaAs a little girl climbed onto Santa's lap, Santa asked the usual, "And
what would you like for Christmas?"
The child stared at him open mouthed and horrified for a minute, then
gasped, "Didn't you get my E-mail?!"
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| Posted by David S. Cornwell on 14-Aug-2005 | Visit Between the HolidaysIf your left leg is Thanksgiving, and your right leg is Christmas, can I
visit you between the holidays?
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| Posted by Marco The Great on 14-Aug-2005 | Hillbillies on HalloweenWhat do hillbillies do on Halloween?
Pump kin.
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| Posted by Wicked_draven69 on 14-Aug-2005 | Gothic Prostitutes and SantaThere were three gothic girls walking down the street. Santa
notices and says," Aren't you wearing any bright colors instead
of dark." The girls said," Because we're the THREE GOTHICS
PROSTITUTES!" Suddenly, Santa is laughing his head off and then,
his pants fall off. The prostitutes mouths are wide open and
they colaspe onto the sidewalk. Santa says," I better go and
take them to my workshop and get a good workout." In the end,
the three gothic prostitutes become Santa's sexual playmates for
all eternity. Ended by being druged up and brainwashed.
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