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| Posted by Anna P. Crist on 09-Aug-2005 | Tore it offOnce there was a little boy and girl taking a bath together.
The girl looked between the boys legs and said, "What's that? Can I touch it?"
The little boy said, "Of course not, you already tore yours off."
Submitted by Curtis
Edited by Tantilazing
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| Posted by Zach Evans on 09-Aug-2005 | Mouthful"OK, class....today we will be studying 3 syllable words. Who would like to give an example?"
Johnny's hand shot up in the air very quickly, "ME, ME...PICK ME!"
"OK, Johnny, go ahead."
"Uh, how about.....masturbate?" Johnny asked.
"WHOA! Very good! That's a mouthful!" The teacher exclaimed.
"NO, NO teacher! A mouthful would be a blow job!"
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| Posted by Chris E. Yannaco on 09-Aug-2005 | Annoying kidA little kid walks into a city bus and sits right behind the driver and starts yelling, "If my dad was a bull and my mum a cow I'd be a little bull."
The driver starts to get mad at the noisy kid, who continues with "If my dad was an elephant and my mum a girl elephant I would be a little elephant."
The kid goes on with several animals until the driver gets angry and yells at the kid, "What if your dad was a gay and your mom was a prostitute?!"
The kid smiles and says, "I would be a bus driver !"
Submitted by calamjo
Edited by Curtis
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| Posted by Fred J. Chisman on 09-Aug-2005 | Lost bagA lady lost her handbag in the bustle of shopping at the mall. It was found by an honest little boy, who returned it to her.
Looking in her purse, she commented, "Hmm, that's funny. When I lost my bag, there was a $20 bill in it. Now there are twenty $1 bills."
The boy quickly replied, "That's right, lady. The last time I found a lady's purse, she didn't have any change for a reward."
Submitted by blueindiansquaw
Edited by Curtis
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| Posted by Jesi Lucjak on 09-Aug-2005 | Johnny's thinkingOne day in class the teacher brought a bag full of fruit.
"Now class, I'm going to reach into the bag and describe a piece of fruit, and you tell what fruit I'm talking about."
"Okay, first: it's round, plump and red."
Of course, Johnny raised his hand high, but the teacher, wisely ignored him and picked Deborah, who promptly answered, "An apple."
The teacher replied, "No, Deborah, it's a beet, but I like your thinking."
"Now for the second. It's soft, fuzzy,and colored red and brownish."
Johnny is hopping up and down in his seat trying to get the teacher to call on him. But she skips him again and calls on Billy.
"Is it a peach?" Billy asks. "No, Billy, I'm afraid it's a potato. But I like your thinking," the teacher replies.
"Here's another: it's long, yellow, and fairly hard."
By now Johnny is about to explode as he waves his hand frantically. The teacher skips him again and calls on Sally.
"A banana," she says.
"No," the teacher replies, "it's a squash, but I like your thinking."
Johnny is kind of irritated now, so he speaks up loudly. "Hey, I've got one for you teacher; let me put my hand in my pocket. Okay, I've got it: it's round, hard, and it has a head on it."
"Johnny!" she cries. "That's disgusting!"
"Nope," answers Johnny, "it's a quarter, but I like your thinking!"
Submitted by Curtis
Edited by Glaci
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| Posted by Jizzle on 09-Aug-2005 | Boy ScoutWhen does a cub scout become a boy scout?
When he eats his first brownie.
Submitted by calamjo
Edited by Curtis
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