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| Posted by ron k. carmichael on 09-Aug-2005 | Trick AlligatorThis guy goes into a bar leading a half-sized alligator on a leash. The bartender yells at him, "You can't bring that animal in here!"
The man says, "This isn't just any old alligator, he knows tricks. I'll show you." He lets the alligator climb up on the bar, then says, "This alligator can hold his mouth open for any length of time you say, to the exact second. Name a time."
So, the bartender says "47 seconds." The man says, "OK, when I say go, start your watch. Go!" The alligator opens its mouth wide, while the bartender watches his mouth. The man says, "To prove how much confidence I have in my pet, I'm gonna lay my dick in his mouth. But, just for safety's sake, start counting the seconds from 45 on." The man does so, and when the bartender starts saying "45...46...47..," right when he says 48 the man pulls back his dick and the alligator's mouth snaps shut.
Everyone at the bar was very impressed with this stunt. The man says, "Thanks a lot! Now, would anyone else like to try?" And, of course, all the men just sort of mumble and turn back to their drinks. I mean, trust only goes so far.
One little guy at the end raises his hand rather timidly.
The man says, "You there!! You're a real man! You're brave enough to try this??!"
To which the other man says, "Yeth, but I don't think I could keep my mouth open the whole 47 seconds."
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| Posted by keenen on 09-Aug-2005 | Hank's BeardBest friends, Vinnie and Hank, are in their local bar, having a few drinks. Vinnie leans over and starts stroking Hank's beard. Vinnie says, "Your face feels just like my wife's pussy."
Hank strokes it himself and says, "Ya, you're right!"
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| Posted by Tina S. Coleman on 09-Aug-2005 | Bar FliesA man walked into a shop and found the clerk stalking flies with a fly swatter.
"Have you gotten any?"
he asked.
The clerk replied, "Yeah. Three males and two females."
"How do you tell the difference?"
the man asked curiously.
"Three were on a beer can and two were on the phone!"
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| Posted by HoMer H. SiMpsOn on 09-Aug-2005 | Bar... DuckmanA man walks into a bar with a duck on his head. The bartender says, "May I help you, sir?"
The duck says, "Yeah. Help me get this human out of my ass."
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| Posted by vic Lee on 09-Aug-2005 | Bar... GrasshopperA grasshopper walks into a bar and the bartender says, ''Hey, we have a drink named after you!''
The grasshopper looks surprised and says, ''You have a drink named Steve?''
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| Posted by Yo Mama on 09-Aug-2005 | Three menThree men walk into a bar,
You think one or them would have seen it!
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