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| Posted by MaZter0fNtrigue on 12-Aug-2005 | Turkythe dog crossed the road ha ha ha
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| Posted by Wes Bundy on 09-Aug-2005 | House PaintingOne day, a painter found himself short of help and went to the unemployment office to hire someone for the day.
When he arrived, they didn't have any painters available, but they did have a gynaecologist there. He reluctantly took him along to help.
A couple of weeks later, the painter returned to the unemployment office needing temporary help again. This time there were two painters there, but instead he asked for the gynaecologist again.
The clerk asked, "Why do you want a gynaecologist when we have two professional painters you can take right now?"
He said, "Two weeks ago when I hired the gynaecologist, we arrived at the house and it was locked with nobody home. But I'll be damned if that gynaecologist didn't stick his hand through the mail slot and paint the whole house!!"
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| Posted by a man named rob on 09-Aug-2005 | Sweet TalkerOn a plane, a man and his wife are offered tea and both accept. The man tries to be sweet to his wife, saying ???Pass the sugar, sugar.... Pass the honey, honey.???
Then he says, ???Pass the tea, you old bag.???
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| Posted by Jaime M. Albright on 09-Aug-2005 | Tom Dick And HarryTom, Dick and Harry, three explorers, were captured by cannibals in the jungles of Borneo.
The cannibal chief says to them, "If you pass the tribal test we will let you live. Go into the jungle and gather 10 items of the same fruit.
"So the three guys scamper into the woods, and Tom comes back first with 10 apples. The Chief explains the trial to him, "You must shove the fruits up your butt without any statement on your face or you will be eaten."
The first apple was okay but Tom winced in pain on the second apple, and was promptly killed and went to heaven (he was a good explorer).
Dick comes back with 10 berries and the chief explains the trial to him as well. Dick doesn't think it should be too tough and begins. 1. 2. 3. 4. 5. 6. 7. 8. But on the ninth berry he burst out in laughter and is killed.
Tom and Dick meet in heaven where Tom asks, "Dick, why did you laugh? You almost got away with it!" Dick replied, "I couldn't help it. I saw Harry coming with an armload of pineapples."
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| Posted by jocelyn price on 09-Aug-2005 | Corrupt PoliticiansA member of the Senate, known for his hot temper and acid tongue, explodes one day in mid-session and begins to shout: "Half of this Senate is made up of cowards and corrupt politicians!" All the other Senators plead to the angry member that he withdraw his statement, or be removed from the remainder of the session. After a long pause, the angry member accepted.
"Ok" he said, "I withdraw what I said. Half of this Senate is NOT made up of cowards and corrupt politicians!"
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| Posted by Rebecca E. Borden on 10-Aug-2005 | FrostyQ: Why did Frosty the snowman pull down his pants?
A: He saw the snow blower coming!
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