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| Posted by funny he bitch on 09-Aug-2005 | 'Twas the Night before FinalsT'was the night before finals,
And all through the college,
The students were praying
For last minute knowledge.
Most were quite sleepy,
But none touched their beds,
While visions of essays
Danced in their heads.
Out in the taverns,
A few were still drinking,
And hoping that liquor
Would get their brains thinking.
In my own apartment,
I had been pacing,
Dreading all those exams
I soon would be facing.
My roommate was speechless,
His nose in his books,
And my comments to him
Drew unfriendly looks.
I drained all the coffee,
And brewed a new pot,
No longer caring
That my nerves were shot.
I stared at my notes,
But my thoughts were all muddy,
My eyes went a'blur,
I just couldn't study.
"Some pizza might help,"
I said with a shiver,
But each place I called
Refused to deliver.
I'd pretty much concluded
Life is unfair and cruel,
Since our futures all depend
On grades made in school.
When all of a sudden,
Our door opened wide,
And Patron Saint Put-It-Off
Ambled inside.
Her spirit was careless,
Her manner was mellow,
She looked at the mess
And started to bellow:
"Why should us students
Make such a fuss,
About what those teachers
Toss out to us?"
"On Cliff Notes! On Crib Notes!
On Last Year's Exams!
On Wingit and Slingit,
And Last Minute Crams!"
Her message delivered,
She vanished from sight,
But we heard her laughing
Outside in the night.
"Your teachers won't flunk you,
So just do your best.
Happy Finals to All,
And to All, a good test."
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| Posted by Dopie on 09-Aug-2005 | The Chinese pay off all of their debtsJones: "The chinese make it an invariable rule to settle all their debts on New Years Day."
Smith: "So I understand, but, then again, the Chinese don't have a Christmas the week before."
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| Posted by Someone Funny on 09-Aug-2005 | Question and answer Christmas jokeQ: If Santa Claus and Mrs. Claus had a child, what would he be called?
A: A subordinate claus.
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():holiday jokes (333): A man forgot to buy turkey for Thanksgiving |
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| Posted by tinmil on 09-Aug-2005 | A man forgot to buy turkey for ThanksgivingIt's the day before Thanksgiving, and the butcher is just locking up when a man begins pounding on the front door.
"Please let me in," says the man desperately. "I forgot to buy a turkey, and my wife will kill me if I don't come home with one."
"Okay," says the butcher. "Let me see what I have left." He goes into the freezer and discovers that there's only one scrawny turkey left. He brings it out to show the man.
"That's one is too skinny. What else you got?" says the man.
The butcher takes the bird back into the freezer and waits a few minutes and brings the same turkey back out to the man.
"Oh, no," says the man, "That one doesn't look any better. You better give me both of them!"
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| Posted by Jeremy W. Thompson on 09-Aug-2005 | Question and answer Christmas jokeQ: How do sheep in Mexico say Merry Christmas?
A: Fleece Navidad!
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| Posted by lil dude on 09-Aug-2005 | Question and answer Christmas jokeQ: What was wrong with the boy's brand new toy electric train set he received for Christmas?
A: Forty feet of track - all straight!
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