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| Posted by Vince Joebob on 09-Aug-2005 | Two dwarfsTwo dwarfs go into a bar, where they pick up two prostitutes and take them to their separate hotel rooms.
The first dwarf, however, is unable to get an erection. His depression is made worse by the fact that, from the next room, he hears his little friend shouting out cries of "Here I come again ...ONE, TWO, THREE...UUH!" all night long.
In the morning, the second dwarf asks the first, "How did it go?"
The first mutters, "It was so embarrassing. I simply couldn't get a hard on."
The second dwarf shook his head. "You think that's embarrassing?"
"I couldn't even get on the f...ing bed!!!"
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| Posted by Jay Macdonald on 13-Aug-2005 | FishSmells like fish,taste like chicken,plug your nose and keep on licking.
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| Posted by ruchi on 13-Aug-2005 | Small HeadA guy goes into a bar and orders a beer. He happens to look down the bar and sees a man with a head the size of a cue ball sitting there, so he walks down and says to the man, "Excuse me, sir, I don?t mean to be rude, but I noticed you have a small head. Is this a birth defect?"
The man says, "No, I got this in the war. My ship was torpedoed by the Germans in WWII. I was the only survivor on the ship, so I swam to shore."
"Then one day, a mermaid swam up to me and said she would grant me three wishes. For my first wish, I wanted to return to the U.S. The mermaid granted that wish. My second wish was to have all the money I would ever need. Wish granted. My third wish was to have sex with the mermaid."
"What she'd say," the curious stranger asked.
"She said, "I can't grant that wish, because mermaids can't have sex.'"
"So," continued the old man with a dejected look on his face, "I said, 'How about a little head?'"
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():bar jokes (2610): Best Drinking Story Ever Told |
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| Posted by Paco Taco on 13-Aug-2005 | Best Drinking Story Ever ToldRecently, a routine police patrol was parked outside a local neighborhood bar in Wisconsin. Late in the evening, the officer noticed a man leaving the bar so intoxicated that he could barely walk. The man stumbled around the parking lot for a few minutes with the officer quietly watching.
After what seemed an eternity and trying his keys on five different vehicles, the man managed to find his own car which he fell into. He was there for a few minutes as a number of other patrons left the bar and drove off.
Finally, he started his car, switched the wipers on and off (it was a dry night), flicked the hazard flasher on and off, tooted the horn and then switched on the lights. He moved the vehicle forward a few inches, reversed a little and then remained stationary for a few more minutes as more patrons left in their vehicles.
At last he pulled out of the parking lot and started to drive slowly down the street. The police officer having patiently waited all this time, now started up his patrol car, put on the flashing lights, promptly pulled the man over and carried out a breathalyzer test. To his amazement the breathalyzer indicated no evidence that the man consumed alcohol at all.
Dumbfounded, the office said "I'll have to ask you to accompany me to the police station. This breathalyzer equipment must be broken."
"I doubt it," said the man. "Tonight I'm the designated decoy."
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():bar jokes (2610): 10 pints of Guinness in one sitting |
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