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| Posted by al -. harvey on 12-Aug-2005 | Two Things To Worry About (Classic)There are only two things to worry about:
Either you are well or you are sick.
If you are well, there is nothing to worry about;
but if you are sick, there are two things to worry about:
either you will get well, or you will die.
If you get well, there is nothing to worry about;
if you die, there are only two things to worry about:
either you will go to heaven or to hell.
If you go to heaven, there is nothing to worry about.
But, if you go to hell you'll be so darned busy shaking hands with friends you won't have time to worry...
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| Posted by Ashley K. A on 13-Aug-2005 | A BIT RUDE BUT VERY FUNNYWhat do you call a lesbian dinosaur?
Answer:lickalotofpuss
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4 people have rated this joke: |
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| Posted by Carrie Sparton on 14-Aug-2005 | Elevator RideA small guy gets into an elevator, looks up and notices a huge dude standing next to him. The big dude looks down upon the small guy and says, "7 feet tall, 350 pounds, 20 inch penis, 3 pound left testicle, 3 pound right testicle, Ben Hoover."
The small guy faints. The big dude picks up the small guy and brings him to, slapping his face and shaking him, and asks the small guy, "what's wrong with you?"
The small guy says, "Excuse me, but what did you say?"
The big dude looks down and says, "7 feet tall, 350 pounds, 20 inch penis, 3 pound left testicle, 3 pound right testicle, Ben Hoover"
The small guy says ,"Thank God! I thought you said 'Bend Over.'"
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9 people have rated this joke: |
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| Posted by Tom A. Woelky on 09-Aug-2005 | Only Six Months to L"Mr. Clark, I'm afraid I have bad news", the doctor told his anxious patient, "You only have six months to live."
The man sat in stunned silence for the next several minutes. Regaining his composure, he apologetically told his physician that he had no medical insurance.
"I can't possibly pay you in that time."
"OK", the doctor said, "Let's make it NINE months."
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| Posted by Ivan Borka on 09-Aug-2005 | Doctors visitTwo old people, a man and a woman, walk into a hospital.
The doctor says to the old man, "I'll need a urine sample, a feces sample, and a blood sample."
The old man says, "What?"
So the doctor says it again.
Once again the old man says, "what?"
So the doctor yells it, "I NEED A URINE SAMPLE, A FECES SAMPLE, AND A BLOOD SAMPLE!"
With that the old woman turns to the old man and says, "He needs a pair of your underwear!"
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4 people have rated this joke: |
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| Posted by J Man on 12-Aug-2005 | Black peopleQ.What do you call a swimming pool filled with black people?
A.Coco-Pops.
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9 people have rated this joke: |
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