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| Posted by Lori Shake on 09-Aug-2005 | University OklahomaOne day my housework challenged husband decided to wash his sweatshirt.
Seconds after he stepped into the laundry room, he shouted to me, "What setting do I use on the washing machine?"
"It depends," I replied. "What does it say on your shirt?"
He yelled back, "University of Oklahoma."
And they say blondes are dumb...
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| Posted by Mark L. Hamburg on 09-Aug-2005 | CowboysTwo cowboys from Arkansas walk into a roadhouse to wash the trail dust from their throats.
They stand at the bar, drinking their beers and talking quietly about cattle prices.
Suddenly a woman at a table behind them who had been eating a sandwich begins to cough. After a minute or so it becomes apparent that she is in real distress.
The cowboys turn to look at her.
"Kin yah swallow? asked one of the cowboys.
The woman shakes her head "No".
"Kin yah breathe?" asks the other cowboy.
The woman, beginning to turn blue, shakes her head "NO" again.
The first cowboy walks over to her, lifts up the back of her skirt and slowly runs his tongue from the back of her thigh up to the small of her back.
This sends the woman into a violent spasm, the obstruction flies out of her mouth, and she begins to breathe again.
The cowboy walks back over to the bar and takes a drink of his beer. His partner says, "Ya know, I'd heard of that there Hind Lick Maneuver, but I ain't never seen nobody do it."
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| Posted by SaUcY on 09-Aug-2005 | Nurse in bankA nurse walks into the bank to cash a check. She reaches into her handbag and pulls out a rectal thermometer.
"Great, just great," she sighs to the cashier. "That means some asshole's got my pen."
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| Posted by Steve Lai on 09-Aug-2005 | MichelleA man and his wife, Michelle, were getting ready for a halloween party.
The party started at 7.00pm and they arrived at the door at 7.15pm.
The man and his wife both turned up at the door naked, the woman on the man's back.
The man at the door asked what they were dressed as and the man said "I am the snail and this is Michelle!!"
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| Posted by tonight*** on 09-Aug-2005 | Horny MosquitosThree horny Mosquitos named Mike, John & Chuck were hanging out on a tree, checking out the fine female lightning bugs fly by. They were talking about who could screw the hottest lightning bug.
Mike sees a bright light fly by and land, he flies over and screws it. He flies back to tell his buddies that she was really hot.
John sees an even brighter light fly by and land, he flies over and screws it. Flies back and tell his buddies she was hotter than Mike's lightning bug.
Chuck sees a bright red light fly by and land, he flies over pulls his penis out pokes the light and screams, comes back and both of his buddies were happy for Chuck, but Chuck doesn't look happy.
Mike asks "What's wrong, did she slap you?"
Chuck says "No"
John asks " Did she kick you?"
Chuck says "No, I think she was a cigarette".
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| Posted by SexyChic04 on 09-Aug-2005 | Old LadyWhy did the old lady walk around with her purse open?
Because she heard there was going to be change in the weather!!!!!!!
Editted by Curtis
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