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| Posted by lisa m. kanicki on 09-Aug-2005 | Vasectomy DecisionOne day, after a man had his annual physical, the doctor came out and said, "You had a great check-up. Is there anything that you'd like to talk about or ask me?"
"Well," he said, "I was thinking about getting a vasectomy."
"That's a pretty big decision. Have you talked it over with your family?"
"Yeah, and they're in favour 17 to 2."
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| Posted by Tyler Reese on 09-Aug-2005 | Puppy LoveA terrier, a doberman, and a bulldog all walk into a bar and take a seat. A female collie then walks in.
The collie says, "Whoever can say liver and cheese the most creatively, can be mine."
So the bulldog says, "I love liver and cheese!"
The collie shrugs and says "Sorry, not good enough."
The doberman says "I hate liver and cheese!" The collie says, "No, not creative enough."
Then the terrier says, "Liver alone, cheese mine!"
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| Posted by Tim Smith on 09-Aug-2005 | Makes you think?Why do tugboats push their barges?
Why do we drive on parkways and park on driveways?
Why do we have hot water heaters?
Why do we play in recitals and recite in plays?
Why do we put suits in a garment bag and garments in a suitcase?
Why do we sing "Take me out to the ball game," when we are already there?
Why do we wash bath towels? Aren't we clean when we use them?
Why do "slow down" and "slow up" mean the same thing?
Why does an alarm clock "go off" when it begins ringing?
Why do flammable and inflammable mean the same thing?
Why doesn't "onomatopoeia" sound like what it is?
Why don't you ever hear about gruntled employees?
Why don't you ever see baby pigeons?
Why is a person who plays the piano called a pianist, but a person who drives a race car not called a racist?
Why is a women's prison called a penal colony?
Why is it called a "building" when it is already built?
Submitted by Curtis
Edited by Yisman
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| Posted by William G. Jenkins on 10-Aug-2005 | No RejectsA prostitute visited a colleague in the hospital just before she was about to
have a heart transplant.
Concerned about her friend's welfare, the prostitute went up to the surgeon
and said, "Doctor, I'm worried about my friend. What if her body rejects the
organ?"
The doctor replied, "Well, she's 34 years old and is in extremely good health,
apart from her heart. How long has she been in the business?"
The patient's friend replied, "She's been working since she was 18 years old,
but what's that got to do with anything?"
"Well," said the doctor, "if she's been working for 16 years and hasn't
rejected an organ, I don't think she's about to start now!"
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| Posted by Boo on 10-Aug-2005 | Height of LazinessWhat is the height of laziness?
Adoption.
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| Posted by Thomas H. Mitchell on 12-Aug-2005 | Telepath wantedHelp Wanted: Telepath.
You know where to apply.
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