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| Posted by Goldberg Exterminator on 13-Aug-2005 | Vat a country!A father, visiting America, from Europe for the very first time, goes up and down the isles with his son at the local Giant Food Store.
"Vas diss? Powdered Orange Juice?"
"Yeh, Dad. You just add a little water, and you have fresh 'orange juice.'" ... A few minutes later, in a different aisle ... "Und vas dis? Powdered milk?? "
"Yeh, Dad. You just add a little water, and you have fresh milk!" ... A few minutes later, in a different aisle ... "Und give a look here! Baby Powder! Vat a country, vat a country!"
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| Posted by Old Man Mystery on 13-Aug-2005 | Little Johnny at the Beauty ParlorLittle Johnny's father decided it was time for 14-year-old Little Johnny, to learn the facts of life. He takes him to the local house of ill repute, which is fronted by a beauty parlor.
He introduces Little Johnny to the madam, and explains that it's time for his indoctrination to sex. The madam says, "You've been such a good customer over the years, I'm going to see to this personally."
So she takes Little Johnny by the hand and leads him upstairs, where she completes his deflowering. Later, as they are walking downstairs the madam says, "Since this is your first time, I'm going to see that you get the full treatment before you leave. I'm going to give you a manicure."
Two weeks later Little Johnny and his father run into the madam on the main street. Little Johnny is acting a little shy, so the madam smiles and says, "Well, Little Johnny, don't you remember me?"
"Yes, Ma'am, " Little Johnny stammers, "you're the lady that gave me the crabs and then cut off my fingernails so I couldn't scratch 'em."
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