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():funny quotes (263): Watergate was worse than a crime, it was a... |
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():funny quotes (263): If God had intended us to drink beer, He would... |
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| Posted by Stephanie Lewis on 07-Aug-2005 | If God had intended us to drink beer, He would...If God had intended us to drink beer, He would have given us stomachs.
- David Daye
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():funny quotes (263): "I've been doing the Fonda workout: The Peter Fonda workout. That's where
I wake up, take a hit of |
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| Posted by REM on 09-Aug-2005 | "I've been doing the Fonda workout: The Peter Fonda workout. That's where
I wake up, take a hit ofKevin Meaney
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| Posted by Ktkat Yong on 13-Aug-2005 | Life's reflections1. Never raise your hands to your kids. It leaves your groin unprotected.
2. I'm not into working out. My philosophy is no pain, no pain.
3. I'm in shape. Round is a shape.
4. I'm desperately trying to figure out why Kamikaze pilots wore helmets.
5. Do illiterate people get the full effect of alphabet soup?
6. I've always wanted to be somebody, but I should have been more specific.
7. Ever notice when you blow in a dog's face he gets mad at you, but when you take him in a car he sticks his head out the window?
8. Ever notice that anyone going slower than you is an idiot, but anyone going faster than you is a maniac?
9. You have to stay in shape. My mother started walking five miles day when she was 60. She's 97 now and we have no idea where she is.
10. I have six locks on my door, all in a row. When I go out, I lock every other one. I figure no matter how long somebody stands there picking the locks, they are always locking three of them.
11. One out of every three Americans is suffering from some form of mental illness. Think of two of your best friends. If they are OK, then it must be you.
12. They show you how detergent takes out bloodstains. I think if you've got a tee shirt with bloodstains all over it, maybe your laundry isn't your biggest problem.
13. Future historians will be able to study at the Jimmy Carter Library, the Gerald Ford Library, the Ronald Reagan Library, and the Bill Clinton Adult Bookstore.
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():funny quotes (263): "I base most of my fashion taste on what doesn't itch." |
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| Posted by Miss Who on 09-Aug-2005 | "I base most of my fashion taste on what doesn't itch."Gilda Radner
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