Funny quotes

Funny quotes
http://www.jokesnquotes.com/ - Funny quotes
  Categories

funny quotes

animal jokes

bar jokes

holiday jokes

travel & vacation jokes

sport jokes

other funny jokes

signs of our times

nerd jokes

just do it

funny laws

funny definitions

blind jokes

funny bumper stickers

crazy jokes

food jokes

funny ads

little johnny

school humor

top list jokes

funny thoughts



Navigation:

· jokes and quotes
· Add joke
· New jokes
· Last 5 jokes
· Best jokes
· Search jokes
  Service menu

· Freedback
· Recommend Us
· Subscription

  Our friends

There isn't content right now for this block.

():funny quotes (263): We are ready for an unforeseen event that...


Posted by Dragonfire563 on 07-Aug-2005

We are ready for an unforeseen event that...

We are ready for an unforeseen event that may or may not occur.
- Dan Quayle, Former U.S. Vice-President

   

1 people have rated this joke:
1.00/10
     

():funny quotes (263): "Who ever thought up the word 'Mammogram'? Every time I hear it, I think I'm supposed to put my bre


Posted by Zohaib Fazal on 09-Aug-2005

"Who ever thought up the word 'Mammogram'? Every time I hear it, I think I'm supposed to put my bre

Jan King
   

2 people have rated this joke:
1.00/10
     

():funny quotes (263): To me, boxing is like a ballet, except there's...


Posted by Jocky on 07-Aug-2005

To me, boxing is like a ballet, except there's...

To me, boxing is like a ballet, except there's no music, no choreography and the dancers hit each other.
- J. Handy

   

1 people have rated this joke:
1.00/10
     

():funny quotes (263): "Laugh and the world laughs with you. Cry and you cry with your girlfriends."


Posted by sarah simone on 09-Aug-2005

"Laugh and the world laughs with you. Cry and you cry with your girlfriends."

Laurie Kuslansky
   

1 people have rated this joke:
1.00/10
     

():funny quotes (263): "Some people say that I must be a horrible...


Posted by Alexandra M. Phillips on 07-Aug-2005
"Some people say that I must be a horrible...
"Some people say that I must be a horrible person, but that's not true. I have the heart of a young boy -- in a jar on my desk."

- Steven King

   

1 people have rated this joke:
1.00/10
     

():funny quotes (263): Life's Lessons


Posted by Moosen on 14-Aug-2005
Life's Lessons
Money doesn't bring you happiness,
but it enables you to look for it in more places.

Your conscience may not keep you from doing wrong,
but it sure keeps you from enjoying it.

Middle age is when broadness of the mind
and narrowness of the waist change places.

Misers aren't much fun to live with,
but they make great ancestors.

Be careful what rut you choose.
You may be in it the rest of your life.

The trouble with bucket seats is that
not everybody has the same size bucket.

When you see the handwriting on the wall,
you can bet you're in a public rest room.

Opportunities always look bigger
going than coming.

The real reason you can't take it with you
is that it goes before you do.

Junk is something you throw away
three weeks before you need it.

Hospitality is making your guests feel at home,
even if you wish they were.

A closed mouth
gathers no feet.

A man (or woman) who can smile when things go wrong
has found someone to blame it on.

A modern pioneer is a woman who can get through a rainy Saturday
with a television on the blink.

The world is full of willing people:
some willing to work and some willing to let them.

Money isn't everything...
there's credit cards, money orders, and travelers checks.

Some people are like blisters.
They don't show up until the work is done.

A true friend is one that lets his grass grow
as tall as his neighbor's.

A baby sitter is a teenager acting like an adult
while the adults are out acting like teenagers.

If you don't know where you're going,
you're never lost.

Experience is a wonderful thing.
It enables you to recognize a mistake when you make it again.

   

1 people have rated this joke:
1.00/10
     

Jokes search
Input keyword:



Adversting