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What, No Golden Goos

A man comes home late one night, drunk.
"Where have you been?"

asks his wife.
"In the Golden Bar! They have golden chairs, golden glasses, golden beer, and a golden urinal!" This sounds awfully suspicious to the wife, who calls the Golden Bar.
"Do you have golden chairs?"

"Yes."

"Do you have golden glasses?"

"Yes."

"Do you have golden beer?"

"Yes."

"Do you have a golden urinal?"

"Hold on."

On the other end, she hears "I think we have a line on the guy who pissed in your saxophone."

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	():bar jokes (2610): Just A Juggalo

Posted by Bob the Legless Hobo on 09-Aug-2005

Just A Juggalo

A man is driving home, when is pulled over by a patrolman for a broken blinker. The cop looks into the guys' car and sees a collection of knives in the backseat.

"Sir," the cop says.

"Why do you have all those knives?"

"They're for my juggling act," the man says.

"I don't believe you," says the cop.

"Prove it."

So the man gets out of his car and begins juggling the knives. At the same time, a car with two guys in it drives by.

"Man," says the first guy.

"I'm glad I quit drinking. These new sobriety tests are hard."

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	():bar jokes (2610): Just Keep Drinking!

Posted by Bluey Dinosaur on 09-Aug-2005

Just Keep Drinking!

A guy walks into a bar, sits down and says to the bartender, “Quick pour me twelve drinks.”

So the bartender pours him twelve shots and the guy starts shooting them back really fast, one after another. The bartender says to the guy, “Boy you are drinking those drinks really fast.”

The guys says, “Well, you would be drinking really fast too if you had what I've got.”

The bartender says, “What've you got?”

The guy says, “75 cents.”

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	():bar jokes (2610): Ya Wanna Find Jesus?

Posted by Princess Sweety on 09-Aug-2005

Ya Wanna Find Jesus?

A drunk man stumbled into a church where there were baptisms being performed. The priest noticed him and asked him if he wanted to find Jesus.

"Sure," said the drunk man.

"I'll find Jesus."

So the priest took the drunk man's head and dunked it into the baptismal waters. When he came up for air, he was sputtering and couging.

"Damn," said the drunk man.

"Are you sure he fell in there?"

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	():bar jokes (2610): All You Can Drink

Posted by Hansen H. Lieu on 09-Aug-2005

All You Can Drink

A man walks into a bar, sits down on a bench and orders a cold one. He swigs down the beer, looks in his pocket, cringes and orders another. He gulps down that one, looks in his pocket again, cringes and orders yet another one. This goes on for at least an hour and a half.
Finally the bartender, bursting with curiousity, says, "I know it's none of my business buddy, but I have to ask. Why the whole "drink, look in pocket, cringe and order another one" routine?"

"Well," slurred the man, "There's a picture of my wife in my pocket. When she starts to look good, then it's time for me to go home."

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