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| Posted by Jeffrey Jones D. Jones on 10-Aug-2005 | What really happenedBefore the fight, Mike's trainer told him to get a piece of Holyfied. Oops,
bad advice.
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| Posted by Aaron R. Whittington on 10-Aug-2005 | Iron mikeIron BITE Tyson, the heavyweight CHOMP of the world!
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| Posted by Butter Fly on 10-Aug-2005 | High tech golfFour international executives are playing golf. On the third hole a ringing
sound is heard. The British golfer fumbles in his bag, picks out his cellular
phone, turns away from his partners and has a brief conversation.
"Terribly sorry chaps, but one has to keep one's finger on the pulse and all
that." His companions murmur acknowledgment.
On the fourth hole there is another ring. The American says "excuse me",
places his thumb to his ear and holds his pinkie near his mouth, and has an
intense conversation. He turns back to the bewildered group.
"Oh, this is the latest thing on the Coast," he says "I've got a microphone
grafted into my pinkie and a receiver in my thumb. It's really convenient."
They play on for a few more holes, at which point there is a loud ring. The
German, who had been leaning over his putt, snaps to attention. "Ja, verstehen,
verstehen, ja, ja. Auf Wiedersehen." He snaps back to normal.
"This is really the state of art," he tells his playing partners. "I have the
microphone grafted into my lower lip, and the receiver grafted into my earlobe.
All I have to do to answer the telephone is to straighten my neck." Everyone is
impressed.
Finally, on the 18th hole, muted chimes are heard. The Japanese businessman
drops his clubs, blurts "so sorry" and runs into the bushes. Everyone waits.
After 15 minutes the American goes to check on his colleague. He finds Mr.
Tanaka squatting, trousers around his ankles, eyes closed and grimacing. "You
okay, Tanaka-san?" he asks.
"Everything is fine," Mr. Tanaka replies. "Just awaiting fax from home
office."
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| Posted by craig brennan on 10-Aug-2005 | Golf explained - part 11. Golf can best be defined as an endless series of tragedies obscured by the
occasional miracle.
2. "I wish I could play my normal game...just once."
3. "Golf is harder than baseball. In golf, you have to play your foul balls."
4. If you find you do not mind playing golf in the rain, the snow, even during
a hurricane, here's a valuable tip: your life is in trouble.
5. Golfers who try to make everything perfect before taking the shot rarely
make a perfect shot.
6. The term "mulligan" is really a contraction of the phrase "maul it again."
7. A "gimme" can best be defined as an agreement between two golfers...neither
of whom can putt very well.
8. An interesting thing about golf is that no matter how badly you play;it is
always possible to get worse.
9. Golf's a hard game to figure. One day you'll go out and slice it and shank
it, hit into all the traps and miss every green. The next day you go out and for
no reason at all you really stink.
10.I play in the low 80s. If it's any hotter than that, I won't play.
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| Posted by tinmil on 10-Aug-2005 | Stance issuesRoger and Charlie emerged from he clubhouse to tee off at the first hole, but
Roger looked distracted.
"Anything the matter?" Charlie asked.
"Na, it's just that I can't stand the club pro," Roger replied.
"He's just been trying to correct my stance."
"He's only trying to help your game," Charlie soothed.
"Yeah, but I was using the urinal at the time."
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| Posted by Laughing Lisa on 10-Aug-2005 | Spring trainingQ: How do the Dallas Cowboys spend their first week at spring training?
A: Studying their Miranda Rights.
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