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| Posted by Beck Rose on 10-Aug-2005 | What was it at half-time?Paddy: 'I couldn't get to the match last Saturday. What was the score?'
Mick: 'Nil-nil.'
Paddy: `What was it at half-time?'
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| Posted by Birdshite on 10-Aug-2005 | Holy MotherA recent Irish League match between Newry and Larne, the visitors were awarded
a penalty and the captain summoned his best player and said, 'I want you to take
this one, Patrick. Just think hard as you kick -think which way the wind is
blowing, and think which direction the keeper's going to jump.'
'Holy Mother!' said Patrick. 'Do you expect me to think and kick at the same
time?'
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| Posted by Mike S. Meyer on 10-Aug-2005 | Extra time firstIt is said that in Ireland; if it looks like rain before a match, they play
the extra time first.
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| Posted by Gothic Bitch on 10-Aug-2005 | Pools win won't change meReporter: 'Tell me, Mr. Harris; will your ??1,000,000 win on the football pools
make any difference to your way of life?'
Pools winner: 'None at all. I shall carry on exactly as before.'
Reporter: 'But what about all the begging letters?'
Pools winner: 'Oh, I'll keep sending them out as usual.'
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| Posted by Mike Carlino on 10-Aug-2005 | When you kick offOver breakfast one morning, a little boy kept staring intently at his
grandfather. '1s anything the matter, son?' the old man asked.
'No, Gramps. I was just wondering what position you play in the football
team.'
'What are? You talking about?' laughed Gramps. 'I'm far too old to play
football.'
'Oh,' said the little. Boy. 'It's just that Dad' said that when you
kicked off, we'd be able to afford a new car.'
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| Posted by Tiffany A. LAng on 10-Aug-2005 | Cowley car plantThe following instruction recently appeared on the notice board of a large car
factory in Cowley:
ALL APPICATIONS FOR LEAVE OF ABSENCE FOR FAMILY BEREAVE MENTS, SICKNESS, JURY
DUTY, ETC., MUST BE HANDED IN TO THE PERSONNEL MANAGER NO LATER THAN 6 P.M. ON
THE DAY PRECEDING THE MATCH.
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