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| Posted by Richard Amezquita on 13-Aug-2005 | Whisper in ChurchA mother took her little boy to church. While in church the little boy said, "Mommy, I have to pee."
The mother said to the little boy, "It's not appropriate to say the word 'pee' in church.
So, from now on whenever you have to 'pee' just tell me that you have to 'whisper.'"
The following Sunday, the little boy went to church with his father and during the service said to his father, "Daddy, I have to whisper."
The father looked at him and said, "Okay, why don't you whisper in my ear."
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| Posted by Samantha A. S on 14-Aug-2005 | Johnny's FamilyLittle Johnny sees his Daddy's car passing the playground and going into the woods. Curious, he follows the car and sees Daddy and Aunt Jane kissing.
Johnny finds this so exciting and can barely contain himself as he runs home and starts to tell his mother excitedly.
"MOMMY, MOMMY, I WAS AT THE PLAYGROUND AND DADDY..."
Mommy tells him to slow down, but that she wants to hear the story.
So Johnny tells her, "I was at the playground and I saw Daddy's car go into the woods with Aunt Jane. I went to look and Daddy was giving Aunt Jane a big kiss, then he helped her take off her shirt, then Aunt Jane helped Daddy take his pants off, then Aunt Jane laid down on the seat, then Daddy..."
At this point, Johnny's mother cut him off and said, "Johnny, this is such an interesting story, so suppose you save the rest of it for supper time. I want to see the look on Daddy's face when you tell the rest tonight."
At the dinner table, Mommy asks Johnny to tell his story. He describes the car in the woods, the undressing, laying down on the seat, and said, "...then Daddy and Aunt Jane did that same thing Mommy and Uncle Jeff used to do when Daddy was in the Army!"
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| Posted by Dmitriy B. Fotiyev on 14-Aug-2005 | Johnny would make a great copLittle Johnny's kindergarten class was on a field trip to their local police station where they saw pictures, tacked to a bulletin board, of the 10 most wanted men. One of the youngsters pointed to a picture and asked if it really was the photo of a wanted person.
"Yes," said the policeman. "The detectives want him very badly."
So Little Johnly asked, "Why didn't you keep him when you took his picture?"
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| Posted by Barrett A. Willis on 14-Aug-2005 | Kids aren't DumbA boy was assigned a paper on childbirth and asked his parents, "How was I born?"
"Well honey.." said the slightly prudish parent "the stork brought you to us."
"Oh," said the boy. "Well, how did you and daddy get born?"
"Oh, the stork brought us too."
"Well how were grandpa and grandma born?" he persisted.
"Well darling, the stork brought them too!" said the parent, by now starting to squirm a little in the Lazy Boy recliner.
Several days later, the boy handed in his paper to the teacher who read with confusion the opening sentence: "This report has been very difficult to write due to the fact that there hasn't been a natural childbirth in my family for three generations."
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| Posted by Chris Babiarz on 14-Aug-2005 | Old FashionedA little boy and a little girl were sitting on the porch talking, when the little girl suddenly winked and asked: "Do you want to get undressed and we can play doctor?"
The little boy replied, "You're so old fashioned" ... "spit out your gum, I want to play President."
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| Posted by Elsa Romxo on 14-Aug-2005 | Buying HorsesLil' Johnny attended a horse auction with his father. He watched as his father moved from horse to horse, running his hands up and down the horses' legs, rump, and chest. After a few minutes, Johnny asked, "Pop, why are you doing that?"
"Because I'm thinking of buying these horses."
Johnny looked worried, "Then I think we'd better hurry home right away!"
"Why?" his father asked.
"Because the milkman stopped by yesterday, and I think he wants to buy Mom!
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