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| Posted by Mongolian A. Jackass on 09-Aug-2005 | Who Gets the ToyThe father of five children won a toy at a raffle.
He called his kids together to ask which one should have the present.
"Who is the most obedient?", he asked.
"Who never talks back to mother?
Who does everything she says?"
Five small voices answered in unison:
"Okay Dad, you get the toy!"
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| Posted by Jezz on 09-Aug-2005 | Sticking It OutThe little boy was 8 yrs old when his parents decided to have him circumcised (looking different than dad, other kids, etc.).
After a few days of recovery, the boy went back to school.
After about an hour, the pain was really starting to bother him so he asked if he could see the school nurse.
He went to see her but was too embarrassed to tell her what the problem was.
She suggested that he call his Mom and see if she could come and get him.
The nurse waited in the other room while the call was made.
After a few minutes the little boy came out and started walking back to class, but the nurse noticed that his penis was hanging out of his pants.
She said "Johnny, what are you doing? You can't walk around like that."
He replied, "Well I told my Mom how much I hurt and she said that if I could just stick it out till lunch time she would come pick me up then."
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| Posted by Jim Porter on 09-Aug-2005 | Jonnys Been LuckyJohnny (age 8) comes into the house for dinner after playing outside all afternoon. His parents ask him what he did today. He says that he played baseball and then he proposed to Betty (age 7) the next door neighbor. They are going to get married.
His parents think this is cute, and they don't want to make fun of Johnny so they ask Johnny him "How are you and Betty going to pay for the expenses of being married?"
He replies "Well with the $1 I get each week from you and the $1 she gets from her Mom and Dad, we should do o.k."
His father says "That's fine, but how will you pay the extra expenses if you and Betty have a baby?"
Johnny answers "Well, so far, we've been lucky..."
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| Posted by Halli on 09-Aug-2005 | Teachers First DayIt was the first day of school, and the elementary school teacher was establishing the fact that she'd take no nonsense from the kiddies this year. While taking the roll, she was told by one boy "My name is Johnny Fuckhauer".
So she said "There'll be none of that kind of thing this year, Johnny; tell me your REAL name!".
The kid said "No, really teacher, it IS Johnny Fuckhauer. You can go across the hall to fourth grade and ask my brother if you don't believe me!"
Not wanting to be subjected to that kind of thing, the teacher went across the hall and knocked on the fourth grade classroom door.
The fourth grade teacher had stepped down the hall to the front office for a moment, so she entered the room and directly asked the class "Do you have a Fuckhauer in here?"
"Hell no!" replied a little kid from the front row, "We don't even get a cookie break!"
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| Posted by Pimp Daddy on 09-Aug-2005 | Moron KidAfter my 11 year old son did something really dumb, I called him a "moron." He looked at he like he was saying,
"Dad, do you know anything?"
He finally said "Dad I looked 'moron' up in the dictionary and the definition of it is 'a person who has the intelligence of a 12 year old.' Thanks Dad, you just gave me a compliment!"
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| Posted by Lavin Beldleveu on 09-Aug-2005 | Blonde On TopLittle Willie had a gambling problem. He'd bet on anything. One day, Willie's father consulted his teacher.
The teacher said. "Mr.Gaines, I think I know how to teach Willie a real lesson. We'll trap him into a big wager that he'll lose."
Willie's father agreed to cooperate with the plan.
The next day at school, the teacher watched Willie making wagers with the other children, and she said, "Willie, I want you to remain after class."
When the others had left the classroom, Willie walked up to the teacher. Before she could say a word, he said, " Dont say it, Miss Brown; I know what you're going to say, but you're a liar!"
"Willie!" the startled teacher said." What are you talking about."
"Your a fake!" Willie continued."How can I believe anything you tell me? You've got this blond hair on top, but I've seen your bush and it's pitch black!"
Trying to keep her cool, the teacher said, "Willie that isn't true."
"I'll bet a dollar it is !" Willie challenged.
The teacher saw her chance to teach Willie his lesson."Make it five dollars and you have a bet," she said.
"You're on!" Willie whipped out a five dollar bill. Before anyone could come into the room, Miss Brown. dropped her panties, spread her legs, and showed Willie that her pubic hair was as blond as the hair on top of her head.
Willie hung his head. "You win," he said, handing her the fiver. Miss. Brown couldn't wait for him to leave so she could get to a phone to call his father. She reported what had happened. "Mr. Gaines," she said, "I think we've finally taught him his lesson."
"The hell we have," the father muttered. "This morning Willie bet me ten dollars that he'd see your pussy before the day was over.
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