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| Posted by britt conrado on 09-Aug-2005 | Who was that?A travel agent looked up from his desk to see an older lady and an older gentleman peering in the shop window at the posters showing the glamorous destinations around the world.
The agent had had a very good week and the dejected couple looking in the window gave him a rare feeling of generosity.
He called them into his shop and said, "I know that on your pension you could never hope to have a holiday, so I am sending you off to a fabulous resort at my expense, and I won't take no for an answer."
He took them inside and asked his secretary to write two flight tickets and book a room in a five star hotel. They, as can be expected, gladly accepted, and were on their way.
About a month later the little lady came in to his shop.
"And how did you like your holiday?" he asked eagerly.
"The flight was exciting and the room was lovely," she said. "I've come to thank you. But, one thing puzzled me. Who was that old guy I had to share the room with?"
Submitted by Calamjo
Edited by Curtis
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| Posted by helen w on 09-Aug-2005 | Anchor's away!The grizzled old sea captain was quizzing a young, naval student.
"What steps would you take if a sudden storm came up on the starboard?"
"I'd throw out an anchor, sir."
"What would you do if another storm sprang up aft?"
"I'd throw out another anchor, sir."
"But what if a third storm sprang up forward?"
"I'd throw out another anchor, captain."
"Just a minute, son. Where in the world are you getting all these anchors?"
"From the same place you're getting all your storms, sir."
Submitted by Curtis
Edited by Calamjo
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| Posted by Adam Terry on 09-Aug-2005 | 6 years from nowA motorist, driving by a Texas ranch, hit and killed a calf that was crossing the road.
The driver went to the owner of the calf and explained what had happened.
He then asked what the animal was worth.
"Oh, about $200 today," said the rancher. "But in six years it would have been worth $900. So $900 is what I'm out."
The motorist sat down and wrote out a check and handed it to the farmer. "Here," he said, "is the check for $900. It's postdated six years from now."
Submitted by Calamjo
Edited by Yisman
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| Posted by Elret on 09-Aug-2005 | Smart-Ass CopTwo guys are driving through Alabama when they get pulled over by a state trooper.
The trooper walks up, taps on the window with his nightstick, the driver rolls down the window, and the trooper smacks him in the head with the stick.
The driver says, "Why'd you do that?"
The trooper says, "You're in Alabama, son. When I pull you over you'll have your license ready."
Driver says, "I'm sorry, officer, I'm not from around here."
The trooper runs a check on the guy's license, and he's clean. He gives the guy his license back and walks around to the passenger side and taps on the window.
The passenger rolls his window down, and the trooper smacks him with the nightstick.
The passenger says, "What'd you do that for?"
The cop says, "Just making your wishes come true."
The passenger says, "Huh?"
The cop says, "I know that two miles down the road you're gonna say, 'I wish that jerk would've tried that shit with me.'"
Submitted by Curtis
Edited by Yisman
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| Posted by Chris Hammond on 09-Aug-2005 | Fat chickA highway patrolman pulls over a driver who's zigzagging his way across the road at 100 m.p.h.
"Sir, have you been drinking tonight?" the cop asks.
"What makes you say that officer?" the motorist replies. "Is there a fat chick in my car?"
Submitted by Curtis
Edited by Calamjo
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| Posted by lauren h. houston on 09-Aug-2005 | CabbiesTwo cab drivers met. "Hey," asked one, "What's the idea of painting one side of your cab red and the other side blue?"
"Well," the other responded, "When I get into an accident, you should see how all the witnesses contradict each other."
Submitted by Curtis
Edited by Calamjo
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