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| Posted by Stu D. Baker on 09-Aug-2005 | Why are they called buildings,Why are they called buildings, when they're already finished? Shouldn't they be called builts?
Why are they called apartments, when they're all stuck together?
Why do people without out a watch look at their wrist when you ask them what time it is?
Why do you ask someone without a watch what time it is?
Why does sour cream have an expiration date?
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| Posted by Joel on 09-Aug-2005 | Shin: A device forShin: A device for finding furniture in the dark.
As long as there are tests, there will be prayer in public schools.
When you're swimming in the creek, and an eel bites your cheek, that's a moray!
A fine is a tax for doing wrong. A tax is a fine for doing well.
It was recently discovered that research causes cancer in rats.
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| Posted by XX2Gurly4UXX on 09-Aug-2005 | If at first you don'tIf at first you don't succeed, skydiving is not for you.
The pen is mightier than the sword -- if the sword is very small and the pen is real sharp.
If you throw a cat out a car window, does it become kitty litter?
Call me insane one more time and I'll eat your other eye!
I didn't fight my way to the top of the food chain to be a vegetarian.
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| Posted by Michael A. Kosbie on 09-Aug-2005 | If a parsley farmer isIf a parsley farmer is sued, can they garnish his wages?
Would a fly without wings be called a walk?
If a stealth bomber crashes in a forest, does it make a sound?
A single fact can spoil a good argument.
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| Posted by Kathleen E. Ryan on 09-Aug-2005 | Ever wonder what you callEver wonder what you call a pocket calculator in a nudist camp?
If you jogged backward . . .would you gain weight?
Being rich and it don't mean so much . Just look at Henry Ford, all those millions and he never owned a Cadillac!
Why do they put pictures of criminals up in the Post Office? What are we supposed to do . . . write to these men? Why don't they just put their pictures on the postage stamps so the mailmen could look for them while they delivered the mail?
Employment application blanks always ask who is to be notified in case of an emergency. Wouldnt a good response be to write . . . A Good Doctor!
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| Posted by dan hoffman on 09-Aug-2005 | The two biggest problems inThe two biggest problems in America are making ends meet and making meetings end.
Everybody lies, but it doesn't matter since nobody listens.
I wished the buck stopped here, as I could use a few.
I started out with nothing, and I still have most of it.
When you go into court you are putting yourself in the hands of 12 people that weren't smart enough to get out of jury duty.
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