|
|
 |
|
 |
 |
| Posted by Lauren Adamowsky C. Adamowsky on 13-Aug-2005 | Billy-Bob and Mary LouBilly-Bob was walking into town one day wearing nothing but his gun and his boots. Just as he began walking down Main Street he was confronted by the Sheriff. ''Hey, Billy-Bob, ya mind if I ask you what you are doin' walkin' down Main Street wearin' nothin' but your gunbelt and boots?''
''Well Sheriff,it's a long story.''
''I ain't going nowhere,'' said the Sheriff.
''Well Sheriff, a couple hours ago I ran into Mary Lou in the saloon. We had ourselves a couple of drinks and then we started to feelin' kinda frisky and Mary Lou said, 'Why don't we go out to the barn?' So we did. Then we started getting real close and cuddin' and smoochin' and Mary Lou said, 'Why don't we go out back and go up to the top of the hill.' So we did. He continued, ''We started cuddlin' and smoochin' some more and the next thing I know, Mary Lou had taken off all her clothes and she suggested that I do the same. So I did, all except my gunbelt and boots. Then Mary Lou laid down on the ground and spread her legs apart and said 'Okay, Billy-Bob, go to town!' And, here I am Sheriff!''
|
0 people have rated this joke: |
|
|
| |
|
|
|
 |
 |
 |
 |
|
|
|
|
| Posted by Lorena on 13-Aug-2005 | Food for a manThis woman has her bridge club every Thursday night. After a peaceful game or two with the ladies, she goes home to fix her husband dinner when he gets home from work. One Thursday, she's playing a great game and she has an incredible hand when she notices the time. 'Oh, no! I have to go fix my husband his dinner! He's going to be so angry if it's not ready on time.' She dashes out of her friend's house; her great hand forgotten on the table.
When she gets home, she realizes she has very little time. There is enough time to go to the supermarket and all she has in the cupboard is a wilted lettuce leaf, an egg and a can of cat food. In a panic, she opens the can of cat food, stirs in the egg, and garnishes it with the lettuce leaf, just as her husband is pulling up. She watches in horror as he sits down to his dinner, and then she realizes he is loving it!
'Mmmm, darling, this is the best dinner you have made for me in forty years of marriage. You can make this for me any old day, yum!' And that night, they had sex for the first time in months and it was great.
Needless to say, every Thursday from then on, she made this dinner for her husband. She tells her bridge cronies about it and they are all horrified. 'You're going to kill him,' they'd all say.
Two months later, her husband died and all the bridge women the Thursday after the funeral attacked our new widow for being so callous. 'You killed him! We told you that feeding him that cat food every week would do him in! How can you just sit there so calmly and play bridge knowing you murdered your husband?'
The wife stoically replied, 'Ahh, I didn't kill him. He fell off the mantle while he was licking his rear.'
|
0 people have rated this joke: |
|
|
| |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
