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():nerd jokes (650): Window washers


Posted by Smart Fool on 12-Aug-2005

Window washers

There were 3 male windowwashers. One Mexican one American and one Polish. At lunch break one day the Mexican opened his lunch and got a burrito. He said,\"man if i get another burrito im gonna jump.\" The American said,\"if i get another bologna sandwich im gonna jump.\" The Polish guy said,\"if i get another sausage im gonna jump. The next day they all commited suicide. At their funerals the Mexican wife said,\" If only I would have known he didnt want another burrito i would have packed him something else.\" The Polish wife said,\" I would have packed my hubbie something else if i wouldve known.\" Then they turned and looked at the American wife. She said, \"what are u looking at me for, he packs his own lunches.\"
   

2 people have rated this joke:
7.00/10
     

():nerd jokes (650): Doctor's diet


Posted by J C. B on 13-Aug-2005

Doctor's diet

A woman was terribly overweight, so her doctor put her on a diet. ''I want you to eat regularly for 2 days, then skip a day, and repeat this procedure for 2 weeks. The next time I see you, you'll have lost at least 5 pounds.''

When the woman returned, she shocked the doctor by losing nearly 20 pounds. ''Why, that's amazing!'' the doctor said, ''Did you follow my instructions?''

The woman nodded. ''I'll tell you though, I thought I was going to drop dead that third day.''

''From hunger, you mean?''

''No, from skipping.''


   

1 people have rated this joke:
7.00/10
     

():nerd jokes (650): Q. What did the farmer say when he lost his...


Posted by jalover on 13-Aug-2005

Q. What did the farmer say when he lost his...

Q. What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor?

A. Where is my tractor?
   

9 people have rated this joke:
6.89/10
     

():nerd jokes (650): The graduate with a Science degree asks, "Why...


Posted by Dfg Dfb on 07-Aug-2005

The graduate with a Science degree asks, "Why...

The graduate with a Science degree asks, "Why does it work?"

The graduate with an Engineering degree asks, "How does it work?"

The graduate with an Accounting degree asks, "How much will it cost?"

The graduate with a Liberal Arts degree asks, "Do you want fries with that?"

   

5 people have rated this joke:
6.20/10
     

():nerd jokes (650): Nice Parrot


Posted by Joe Skager on 12-Aug-2005
Nice Parrot
There was a man who traveled all around the world. Every city he stopped in he would buy something for his mother and send it to her. On one such stop he found a parrot that spoke thirty different languages. He immediately bought it and sent it home to his mother.

A few days later he calls his mother. "Did you like the parrot?" he asked her.

"Oh yes," she replied. "It was delicious."

"WHAT!" the man cried. "You ate it? That parrot wasn't for you to eat! It spoke thirty languages!"

The mother paused for a moment and then said, "So why didn't he say something?"
   

5 people have rated this joke:
6.00/10
     

():nerd jokes (650): What If Dr. Seuss Did Technical Writing?...


Posted by Dan Stepansky on 07-Aug-2005
What If Dr. Seuss Did Technical Writing?...

What If Dr. Seuss Did Technical Writing?

Here's an easy game to play.
Here's an easy thing to say:

If a packet hits a pocket on a socket on a port,
And the bus is interrupted as a very last resort,
And the address of the memory makes your floppy disk abort,
Then the socket packet pocket has an error to report!

If your cursor finds a menu item followed by a dash,
And the double-clicking icon puts your window in the trash,
And your data is corrupted 'cause the index doesn't hash,
Then your situation's hopeless, and your system's gonna crash!

You can't say this?
What a shame sir!
We'll find you
Another game sir.

If the label on the cable on the table at your house,
Says the network is connected to the button on your mouse,
But your packets want to tunnel on another protocol,
That's repeatedly rejected by the printer down the hall,

And your screen is all distorted by the side effects of gauss
So your icons in the window are as wavy as a souse,
Then you may as well reboot and go out with a bang,
'Cause as sure as I'm a poet, the sucker's gonna hang!

When the copy of your floppy's getting sloppy on the disk,
And the microcode instructions cause unnecessary risc,
Then you have to flash your memory and you'll want to RAM your ROM.
Quickly turn off the computer and be sure to tell your mom!

   

2 people have rated this joke:
6.00/10
     

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