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| Posted by David Baughman on 13-Aug-2005 | Wishes split three waysThere were three men stranded on an island. They had been there for a very long time, when one morning a magic lamp washed up on the shore. The men saw it and picked it up.
The men rubbed the lamp and a genie appeared. After the genie rose up he granted the men one wish each.
The first man thought about his wish and made it count. After thinking, the man finally said, "I wish I was back at home." Then, poof, he disappeared.
The second man thought about his wish also. Finally, the man said, "I wish I was at home with my family." Then, poof, he vanished.
The last wish went to the last man on the island. He looked around and felt very lonely. It took a while to think of a good wish and finally an idea came to him.
The third man said, "I wish that my two best friends were back on this island with me." Poof, the two other men appeared on the island again.
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():nerd jokes (650): Getting help from the government |
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| Posted by Princess foxy on 13-Aug-2005 | Helpful PharmacistUpon arriving home in eager anticipation of a leisurely evening, the husband was met at the door by his sobbing wife. Tearfully she explained, "It's the pharmacist, he insulted me terribly this morning on the phone."
Immediately the husband drove downtown to the pharmacy to demand an apology. Before he could say more than a word or two, the pharmacist told him, "Now, just a minute, listen to my side of it."
"This morning the alarm failed to go off, so I was late getting up. I hurried out to the car, but I'll be damned if I didn't lock the house with both house and car keys inside. I had to break a window to get my keys. Driving a little too fast, I got a speeding ticket. Then, about three blocks from the store I had a flat tire.
When I finally got to the store there was a bunch of people waiting for me to open up. I got the store opened and started waiting on these people, and all the time the darn phone was ringing its head off. Then I had to break a roll of nickels against the cash register drawer to make change, and they spilled all over the floor. I got down on my hands and knees to pick up the nickels, the phone is still ringing, when I came up I cracked my head on the open cash drawer. The phone is still ringing with no let up, and I finally got back to answer it.
It was your wife - she wanted to know how to use a rectal thermometer. Well, Mister, I TOLD HER!"
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