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| Posted by Elana on 09-Aug-2005 | Wrong diagnosisTwo young medical students were standing on a street corner observing people as they passed by, discussing any abnormalities they noticed in the passers-by.
They saw this old fellow sort of duck waddling down the street at a slow pace.
The two students introduced themselves to the gentleman and told him that they didn't agree with each other's diagnosis of the old man's problem.
One says, "My friend thinks you have a bad case of hemorrhoids, and I think you have a hernia."
The old man said, "I thought it was a fart, but from the feel of it, looks like we were all wrong!"
Submitted by Curtis
EDited by Dolly04
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| Posted by Smoker Wiedman on 09-Aug-2005 | We bulls wobbleThere was a herd of cattle all standing on a hill when an earthquake struck.
All of the cows fell down, but the bull remained standing.
The farmer noticing this went out and asked the bull, "Why didn't you fall down like the rest of the herd.
The bull replied, "We bulls wobble, but we don't fall down."
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| Posted by Pretty Sammi on 10-Aug-2005 | Sick DoctorA doctor was waiting for his next patient and when they arrived, it was a
gorgeous blonde. The doctor almost lost his control because he was so attracted.
He let all professionalism go out the window and walked over to her. "What is
your name miss?" he asked. "Allie" she replied. He began to feel her breasts
because he was so wild with desire, and he said: "do you know what I am doing
Allie?" she said, "yes, you are checking lumbs in my breasts." "Yes, that's
right" he replied. He then began to rub his hands up and down her body. He said
to her "allie, do you know what I am doing now?" "Yes," she said, "you are
checking me for any skin imperfections." "That??™s right,??? he said. He finally
lost all control and began to have intercourse with the woman. "Now do you know
what I am doing Allie?" he asked, absolutely having the time of his life. "Yes,"
she said, "getting herpes which is why I came to see you."
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| Posted by JOHN BALTUSKONIS on 10-Aug-2005 | Her Splintered CrotchA lady from California purchased a piece of timberland in Oregon. There was a
large tree on one of the highest points in the tract. She wanted to get a good
view of her land so she started to climb the big tree. As she neared the top,
she encountered a spotted owl that attacked her.
In her haste to escape, the lady slid down the tree to the ground and got many
splinters in her private parts. In considerable pain, she hurried to the nearest
doctor.
He listened to her story then told her to go into the examining room and he
would see if he could help her. She sat and waited for three hours before the
doctor reappeared.
The angry lady demanded, "What took you so long?"
The unperturbed doctor replied, "Well, I had to get permits from the
Environmental Protection Agency, the Forest Service, and the Bureau of Land
Management before I could remove old-growth timber from a recreational area."
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| Posted by brandi on 10-Aug-2005 | Perfect shapeGuy's wife comes home from her physical checkup at the M.D.'s, and her hubby
says, "Well, how did it go?" She tells him, "The doctor says I'm in perfect
shape!" Husband says, "Oh, yeah? How about that big fat ass?" She says, "Oh, we
didn't talk about you!"
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| Posted by nazi bob on 10-Aug-2005 | Talking With Your BodyA man is doing yard work and his wife is about to take a shower. The man
realizes that he can't find the rake. He yells up to his wife, "Where is the
rake?" She can't hear him and shouts back, "What?"
The man first points to his eye, then points to his knee and finally makes a
raking motion.
The wife is not sure and says, "What?" The man repeats his gestures. "EYE KNEE
THE RAKE"
The wife replies that she understands and signals back. She first points to
her eye, then points to her left breast, then points to her butt, and finally to
her crotch.
Well, the man has no clue on that one. Exasperated, he goes upstairs and asks
her, "What in the friggin' hell was that?"
She replies, "EYE - LEFT TIT - BEHIND - THE BUSH".
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