|
|
 |
|
 |
 |
| Posted by Imfuktup Man on 13-Aug-2005 | Yo mama is so dumbYo mam is so dumb she went to a Clippers game and expected a haircut.
|
0 people have rated this joke: |
|
|
| |
|
|
|
 |
 |
 |
 |
|
|
|
|
| Posted by Winter L. Santiaga on 13-Aug-2005 | Jamie Bennett is the coolest!!!How many jokes would you have read if you didnt waste your time looking at this?
|
0 people have rated this joke: |
|
|
| |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
| Posted by Seamus G. Beirne on 13-Aug-2005 | Importance of GolfThree ministers were playing golf. A Baptist, a Methodist and a Jewish Rabbi. There was a group ahead of them who were very slow players. All three ministers were really griping about this. The caretaker heard the ministers belly aching and told them the players ahead were blind. The Baptist preacher said he was repentant and would confess his sins. The Methodist minister said the same thing. The Rabbi spoke up boldly and said,
" Looks to me like they would make them play at night."
|
0 people have rated this joke: |
|
|
| |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
| Posted by *Queen.of.Jokes* on 13-Aug-2005 | Golfer's LeprechaunOne fine day in Ireland, a guy is out golfing and gets up to the 16th hole. He tees up and cranks one. Unfortunately, it goes into the woods on the side of the fairway.
He goes looking for his ball and comes across this little guy with this huge knot on his head, and the golf ball lying right beside him. 'Goodness,' says the golfer, and proceeds to revive the poor little guy.
Upon awaking, the little guy says, 'Well, you caught me fair and square. I am a leprechaun. I will grant you three wishes.'
The man says, 'I can't take anything from you, I'm just glad I didn't hurt you too badly,' and walks away.
Watching the golfer depart, the leprechaun thinks, 'Well, he was a nice enough guy, and he did catch me, so I have to do something for him. I'll give him the three things that I would want. I'll give him unlimited money, a great golf game, and a great sex life.'
Well, a year goes past (as they often do in jokes like this) and the same golfer is out golfing on the same course at the 16th hole. He gets up and hits one into the same woods and goes off looking for his ball. When he finds the ball he sees the same little guy and asks how he is doing.
The leprechaun says, 'I'm fine, and might I ask how your golf game is?'
The golfer says, 'It's great! I hit under par every time.'
The leprechaun says, 'I did that for you. And might I ask how your money is holding out?'
The golfer says, 'Well, now that you mention it, every time I put my hand in my pocket, I pull out a ten pound note.'
The leprechaun smiles and says, 'I did that for you. And might I ask how your sex life is?'
The golfer looks at him a little shyly and says, 'Well, maybe once or twice a week.'
The leprechaun is floored and stammers, 'Once or twice a week?!'
The golfer, a little embarrassed, looks at him and says, 'Well, that's not too bad for a Catholic priest in a small parish.'
|
0 people have rated this joke: |
|
|
| |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
| Posted by Eliza M. Lenz on 13-Aug-2005 | What would you give. . .A golfer is in a competitive match with a friend, who is ahead by a couple of strokes. The golfer says to himself, 'I'd give anything to sink this next putt.'
A stranger walks up to him and whispers, 'Would you give up a fourth of your sex life?'
The golfer thinks the man is crazy and that his answer will be meaningless, but also that perhaps this is a good omen, so he says, 'Okay,' and sinks the putt. Two holes later he mumbles to himself, 'Boy, if I could only get an eagle on this hole.'
The same stranger moves to his side and says, 'Would it be worth another fourth of your sex life?'
The golfer shrugs and says, 'Sure.' He makes an eagle. On the final hole, the golfer needs yet another eagle to win.
Though he says nothing, the stranger moves to his side and says, 'Would you be willing to give up the rest of your sex life to win this match?'
The golfer says, 'Certainly!' He makes the eagle.
As the golfer walks to the club house, the stranger walks alongside and says, 'You know, I've really not been fair with you because you don't know who I am. I'm the devil, and from now on you will have no sex life.'
'Nice to meet you,' says the golfer. 'My name's Father O'Malley.'
|
0 people have rated this joke: |
|
|
| |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
| Posted by Birdie c. ferrell on 13-Aug-2005 | Corvette BicycleA man decided that he was going to ride a 10-speed bike from Phoenix to Flagstaff. He got as far as Black Canyon City before the mountains just became too much and he could go no farther. He stuck his thumb out, but after 3 hours hadn't gotten a single person to stop.
Finally, a guy in a Corvette pulled over and offered him a ride. Of course, the bike wouldn't fit in the car. The owner of the Corvette found a piece of rope lying by the highway and tied it to his bumper. He tied the other end to the bike and told the man that if he was going too fast, to honk the horn on his bike and that he would slow down. Everything went fine for the first 30 miles.
Suddenly, another Corvette blew past them. Not to be outdone, the Corvette pulling the bike took off after the other. A short distance down the road, the Corvettes, both going well over 120 mph, blew through a speed trap. The police officer noted the speeds from his radar gun and radioed to the other officer that he had two Corvettes headed his way at over 120 mph. He then relayed, ''...and you're not going to believe this, but there's guy on a 10 speed bike honking to pass.''
|
0 people have rated this joke: |
|
|
| |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
