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| Posted by hello there on 13-Aug-2005 | Yo momma is a hoeyour momma is like a brick she is always getting laid.
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10 people have rated this joke: |
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| Posted by Avi Marcus on 14-Aug-2005 | Pool PartyOnce there was a rich dude who owned a huge mansion, lots of
cars, was an alcoholic, and smoked crack. He even had a huge
pool which he filled with hundreds of alligators.
One day he was having a pool party and everyone got drunk and
high. After a while the rich guy stood up on a table and made a
speech. He said, "Anyone who swims across my pool will get my
house. No one jumped in. Then he said, "Anyone who swims across
my pool gets my house and my cars. No one jumped. "Anyone who
swims across my pool gets my house, my cars, alcohol, and my
cars." No one jumped in. "Anyone who swims across my pool gets
my house, my cars, my alcohol, and my crack. He heard a splash
and looked up.
He saw a guy jump into the pool. Alligators were on him in a
second, but this guy did tarzan moves, wrestled alligators, etc.
Finally, he climbed out on the other side. The rich dude walked
around and said, "That was amazing. I never thought anyone would
do that! When do you want my house?" The guy said "I don't want
your house." "When do you want my cars?" "I don't want your
cars." " When do you want my alcohol? "I don't want your
alcohol." When do you want my crack?" "I don't want you crack."
"Well, what do you want?" "I want the freaking bastard who
pushed me in!"
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6 people have rated this joke: |
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| Posted by "Princess on 09-Aug-2005 | Shit hits the fanA man walks into a bar. "Gimme a double, before the shit hits the fan."
A few minutes later, same thing. "Gimme a beer before the shit hits the fan."
This goes on for an hour or so.
Finally the Bartender goes up to him and says, "Listen buddy, maybe you should pay before you get another drink."
"Oops, the shit just hit the fan." He replied.
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4 people have rated this joke: |
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| Posted by Pink Mist on 09-Aug-2005 | Snail visits barThe landlord of a pub, is just locking up, when there's a ring on the doorbell.
He opens the door, and there's a snail sitting there. "What do you want?" asks the landlord.
The snail replies that he wants a drink.
"Go away, we're closed, and we don't serve snails anyway".
The snail pleads and pleads with the barman to give it a drink, at which the landlord gets fed up, kicks the snail and slams the door.
..... Exactly one year later, he's locking up again, and there's a ring at the doorbell. The landlord opens the door, and looks down to see a snail sitting there. "What do you want" says the landlord.
"What did you do that for" says the snail.
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3 people have rated this joke: |
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| Posted by Jeremy Mrotek on 13-Aug-2005 | Woman wearing nylons.How can you tell when a woman is wearing nylons? Her ankles puff up when she farts!
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3 people have rated this joke: |
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| Posted by Vince Carter on 09-Aug-2005 | No natural lightThis guy walks into the bar and tells the bartender he wants a beer, "anything but Natural light".
Why not Natural Light the bartender say's, "you always drink Natural Light"?
"Not anymore, buddy, last night I got so Drunk on natural Light, I went home and blew chunks".
Well, the bartender say's, everybody does that when they get that drunk, you know, that??™s no big deal...
"You don??™t understand, buddy, Chunks is my dog!"
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5 people have rated this joke: |
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