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| Posted by Gillian Cheng on 09-Aug-2005 | Your an 8Little Johnny was sitting in class one day. All of a sudden, he needed to go to the toilet.
He yelled out,
'Miss Jones, I need to have a piss!'
Miss Jones replied,
'Now Johnny, that is not the proper word to use in this situation. The correct word you want to use is urinate. Please use the word urinate in a sentence correctly and I will allow you to go.'
Little Johnny thinks for a bit, then says, 'You're an eight, but if you had bigger tits, you'd be a 10.'
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| Posted by kaitlyn a. myers on 09-Aug-2005 | I need a bikeA few months after his parents were divorced, little Johnny passed his mum's bedroom and saw her rubbing her body and moaning, 'I need a man, I need a man.'
Over the next couple of months, he saw her doing this several times.
One day Johnny came home from school and heard her moaning again. When he peeked into her bedroom, he saw a man on top of her.
Little Johnny ran into his room, took off his clothes, threw himself on his bed, started stroking himself and moaned, 'Ohh, I need a bike! I need a bike!'
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| Posted by Mike A. Rotch on 09-Aug-2005 | No honeyLittle Johnny (that little bugger again!) was being particularly reckless one day. He was playing in the backyard when some honeybees started swirling around, annoying him. He began stomping on them in a temper and his father saw him.
'That's it. No honey for you for one month.'
Later, Johnny pondered over some butterflies and soon started catching them and crushing them under his feet. His father again caught him and after a brief moment of thought said, 'No butter for you for one month.'
Early that evening, Johnny's mother was cooking dinner and got jumpy when cockroaches started scurrying around the kitchen floor. She began stomping on them one by one until all the cockroaches were dead.
Johnny's mother looked up to find Johnny and his father standing there watching her, to which Johnny said, 'Are you going to tell her, Daddy, or do you want me to?'
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| Posted by Tammy Roy on 09-Aug-2005 | Horsey ridesThat little bastard Little Johnny was passing his parents bedroom in the middle of the night in search of a glass of water. Hearing a lot of moaning and thumping, he peeks in and catches his parents in the act.
Before his Dad can even react, little Johnny exclaims, 'Oh boy! Horsey ride. Daddy can I ride on your back?'
Daddy, relieved that Johnny was not asking more uncomfortable questions and seeing the opportunity not to break his stride, agrees.
Johnny hops on and daddy starts going to town. Pretty soon his mummy starts moaning and gasping and Johnny cries out, 'Hang on tight, Daddy. This is the part where me and the milkman usually get bucked off!'
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| Posted by Mitchy Dee on 09-Aug-2005 | CircumspectionTwo five-year-old boys are standing at the toilet to piss.
One says, 'Your thingy doesn't have any skin on it.'
'I've been circumcised,' the other one says.
'What's that mean?'
'It means they cut the skin off at the end.'
'How old were you when it was cut off?'
'My mum said I was two days old.'
'Did it hurt?'
'You bet it hurt. I couldn't walk for a year.'
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| Posted by lil dude on 09-Aug-2005 | She fakes itA little girl is in line to see Santa. When it's her turn, she climbs up on Santa's lap and Santa asks,
'What would you like me to bring you for Christmas?'
The little girl replies,
'I want a Barbie and a G. I. Joe doll.'
Santa looks at the little girl for a moment and says,
'I thought Barbie comes with Ken.'
'No,' the little girl replies, 'She comes with G.I. Joe, she fakes it with Ken.'
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