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| Posted by JAMIE E. LONGMAN on 13-Aug-2005 | Yugo vs. Rolls RoyceA guy buys a new Rolls Royce, and is driving it home. He stops at a red light about two blocks from his house when a crapy looking Yugo pulls up next to him. The guy in the Yugo sticks his head out of the window and yells out "Hey thats a sweet lookin car!"
The guy driving the Rolls, rolls down the window and shows a proud smile. The Yugo guy screams out "Did it come with a tv like my Yugo?" The Rolls guy, kind of flustered that his luxury car didnt have a tv, made a U-Turn and drove back to the dealership and made them install the grandest $5000 tv they had. A few days later, the Rolls driver is waiting at a stop sign when the Yugo guy drives up next to him. The Rolls guy starts bragging about the new $5000 20" tv in his car. The yugo guy inquires with a smile, if the Rolls came with leather heated seats like his Yugo. The Rolls guy, mad at the fact that his car didnt, drives back to the dealership and makes them install the finest seats $10,000 can buy.
The Rolls guy drives out of the dealership and sees the Yugo guy waking down the street, so he starts bragging about the comfortable seats.
The Yugo guy quickly inquires whether the Rolls came with a fridge.
The rolls guy, really pissed off now, screams out "My Rolls Royce is better than your Yugo anyday,who the hell do you think you are?!"
The Yugo guy calmly replies....
"The owner of the Rolls Royce dealership..."
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| Posted by Ronnie D. Bennett on 13-Aug-2005 | Little MaryLittle Mary was not the best student in Sunday School. Usually she slept through the class. One day the teacher called on her while she was napping, ''Tell me, Mary, who created the universe?''
When Mary didn't stir, little Johnny, an altruistic boy seated in the chair behind her, took a pin and jabbed her in the rear. ''God Almighty !'' shouted Mary and the teacher said, ''Very good'' and Mary fell back to sleep.
A while later the teacher asked Mary, ''Who is our Lord and Savior?'' But Mary didn't even stir from her slumber. Once again, Johnny came to the rescue and stuck her again. ''Jesus Christ!'' shouted Mary and the teacher said, ''Very good,'' and Mary fell back to sleep.
Then the teacher asked Mary a third question, ''What did Eve say to Adam after she had her twenty-third child?'' And again, Johnny jabbed her with the pin. This time Mary jumped up and shouted, ''If you stick that damn thing in me one more time, I'll break it in half!''
The Teacher fainted.
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| Posted by lyr-icky sandalls on 13-Aug-2005 | Fishing with grampaa kid and his grampa were fishing and the grampa lit up a cigarette and the boy said can i have one the grampa said can u touch ur dick to your assholle and the boy said no
well an hour goes bye and the grampa grabs a beer and the boy says can i have one and the grampa says can you touch your dick to your asshole and the boy says no
another hour goes by and the boy has some cookies and the grampa says can i have one and the boy says can u touch your dick to your asshole and the grampa says proudly yes i can and and the boy says go fuck yourself these are my cookies
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| Posted by little e on 13-Aug-2005 | Harold Shipmans last wordsShipman killed himself because they wouldnt give him some fruit. His last words were i could murder a granny smith
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| Posted by Justin H on 13-Aug-2005 | A poem by paul McCartneyPoem by Paul McCartney. We lay upon the grassy bank,my hands were all a quiver, i slowly undid her suspender belt and her leg fell in the river.
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| Posted by Justin Lincoln on 13-Aug-2005 | Saladwhy was the tomato blushing?
cause he saw the salad dressing!
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