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| Posted by GigglyGirl on 09-Aug-2005 | YugoWhy do they have a rear window defroster on the Yugo?
So your hands stay warm while you're pushing it.
Submitted by Curtis
Edited by Calamjo
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| Posted by Dot57 on 09-Aug-2005 | Two passengersTwo vultures boarded a plane.
Each carried two dead raccoons.
The stewardess stopped them and said, "Sorry, only one carrion per passenger."
Submitted by Curtis
Edited by BreeBrown
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| Posted by SweetAnne on 09-Aug-2005 | Dead scareA man books a taxi for the airport.
The taxi arrives, the man loads his luggage and the taxi sets off.
Several minutes into the journey the man notices that the driver has taken a wrong turn.
He leans forward and taps the driver on the shoulder to correct him.
The driver gives out an almighty shriek and rolls the car into a ditch.
Submitted by Calamjo
Edited by Curtis
Trapped in the wreckage the man questioned the driver, "What the hell happened there mate?"
To which the injured driver replied, "I'm really sorry about that but I've been driving a herse for the last 26 years!"
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| Posted by kornyhiv ripper on 09-Aug-2005 | AccidentThere was an engineer, manager and programmer driving down a steep mountain road.
The brakes failed and the car careened down the road out of control.
Half way down the driver managed to stop the car by running it against the embankment narrowing avoiding going over a cliff.
They all got out, shaken by their narrow escape from death, but otherwise unharmed.
The manager said, "To fix this problem we need to organize a committee, have meetings, and through a process of continuous improvement, develop a solution."
The engineer said, "No, that would take too long, and besides that method never worked before. I have my trusty pen knife here and will take apart the brake system, isolate the problem and correct it."
The programmer said, "I think you're both wrong! I think we should all push the car back up the hill and see if it happens again."
Submitted by Curtis
Edited by Calamjo
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| Posted by Yum Yum on 09-Aug-2005 | Burger KingA man and his wife were driving their RV across country and were nearing a town spelled Kissimee.
They noted the strange spelling and tried to figure how to pronounce it, KISS-a-me; kis-A-me; kis-a-ME.
They grew more perplexed as they drove into the town.
Since they were hungry, they pulled into a place to get something to eat.
At the counter, the man said to the waitress: "My wife and I can't seem to be able to figure out how to pronounce this place. Will you tell me where we are and say it very slowly so that I can understand."
The waitress looked at him and said: "Buuurrrgerrr Kiiiinnnng."
Submitted by Curtis
Edited by Tantilazing
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| Posted by Stephen W. Gradwell on 09-Aug-2005 | Co-pilotLate one night during bad weather, the following was heard over the radio at an airport control tower:
Helicopter Pilot: "Tower, I'm holding at 3000 feet over Heli-pad 1."
Second voice: "NO! You can't be doing that! I'm holding at 3000 over that pad!"
There was a brief moment of silence.
First voice again: "You idiot! You're my co-pilot!"
Submitted by
Edited by calamjo and yisman
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