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| Posted by Iain Delaney on 11-Aug-2005 | Yum YumQ:How do you make a Swiss roll?
A:you push them down the Alps.
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| Posted by Mike A. Harms on 13-Aug-2005 | A great fruit cake recipeYou'll need the following: a cup of water, a cup of sugar, four large eggs, two cups of dried fruit, a teaspoon of baking soda, a teaspoon of salt, a cup of brown sugar, lemon juice, nuts, and a bottle of whisky.
Sample the whisky to check for quality.
Take a large bowl. Check the whisky again. To be sure it is the highest quality, pour one level cup and drink. Repeat. Turn on the electric mixer, beat one cup of butter in a large fluffy bowl. Add one teaspoon of sugar and beat again.
Make sure the whisky is still okay. Cry another tup. Turn off the mixer. Break two leggs and add to the bowl and chuck in the cup of dried fruit. Mix on the turner. If the fried druit gets stuck in the beaterers pry it loose with a drewscriver.
Sample the whisky to check for tonsisticity. Next, sift two cups of salt. Or something. Who cares? Check the whisky. Now sift the lemon juice and strain your nuts. Add one table. Spoon. Of sugar or something. Whatever you can find.
Grease the oven. Turn the cake tin to 350 degrees. Don't forget to beat off the turner. Throw the bowl out of the window, check the whisky again and go to bed.
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| Posted by gamma on 11-Aug-2005 | LemonQ:What do you give an injured lemon?
A:Lemonade
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| Posted by Roy Covington III on 11-Aug-2005 | Apple Pie and BBsOne day Mary, a mom of 3, was making a pie for her kids. Johnny was 5, steve was 10, and Cortez was 15. Steve had a BB gun and left the box of BBs on on the kitchen table. While Mary was cooking the pie she turned and the box of BBs fell into the pie mix. She decided not to worry about and left them in without tell her children. After dinner, the desert was the pie and every kid had 2 pieces. The next day when they got home johnny went to his mom and say that he peed out little silver balls and Mary told him not to worry about it. Then steve came to her and said the same thing and she told him not to worry about it. Then Cortez came to mary and mary said, "let me guess, you peed out little silver balls." and Cortez said, "No i was jacking off in the kitchen and i think i killed the dog!".
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():food jokes (113): Black man, sex & chocolate biky's |
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| Posted by Ben Driediger on 11-Aug-2005 | Black man, sex & chocolate biky'sThis chick goes to a bar and picks up this guy and they get talkin and they end up going back to her place. about an hour later her husband walks in and see's this guys underwear on the floor. he says "next time i see another guyz pants on the floor im gunna pull out everyone of ur pubic hairs"! the next night she goes to the bar again and says hi to this black dude. she said you wanna come back to my place? and he says only for a chocolate biky. so she gave him the biky and headed home. they got upstairs and she said you wanna get naked? and he said only for a chocolate biky. then she gave him the biky and got naked. then she said to him you wanna root me hard? and he said only for a chocolate biky. so she gave him the biky and they got right into it. about an hour later her husband was coming up the stairs. then she said quick get in the closet and he said only for a choclate biky. so she gave him the biky and he got in. the husband then saw the pants on the floor and said, alright get on the bed and give me the tweezers. then he started pulling them out. he was down to the last black curly son of a bitch and he yelled, "COME OUT YOU BLCK BASTARD" and the black dude in the closet goes only for a chocolate biky!
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| Posted by Christopher J. Lennon on 11-Aug-2005 | VegetarianismA man was talking to his friends about why he was a vegetarian.
"I'm not a vegetarian because I love animals," he said, "I'm a vegetarian 'cause I HATE plants!"
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